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R: so it's been awhile since we last spoke.
K: yeah, well take your time, don't rush it.
R: let's just get it done. last time i said i wanted to chat about a couple of things, the first being the cat you had to rescue in miaoli...
K: yes, apparently it stepped into a trap and then got poisoned. it was in pretty bad shape.
R: jeez. why did you have to go from taichung city to miaoli county to take care of the cat?
K: well, it was my cat, the wife's cat, before little kaia came along. we moved it to the in-law compound in the countryside to give it more room to roam around, catch mice and be cattish.
R: and it was scratching up your furniture...
K: yeah that and i didn't want it to maul kaia...
R: smart.
K: yeah, well i got a call one day from the wife. she said the cat was hurt or in trouble and i should go take care of it. take it to the vet.
R: why couldn't the in-laws take care of it? there are 7 or 8 of them and they have 3 cars between them. they're 5 minutes from the vet.
K: they thought that it would be better if i rode up there on my motorbike, pick up the cat and take it back to taichung. the wife agreed.
R: 'cause we have better cat doctors here than there?
K: i guess. they're useless. they pay companies to play video games for them. those role playing games, you know?
R: for what?
K: so they can play 24-7. they watch their game in their free time which is, as far as i can tell, all the time...
R: let's talk about karlemagne.
K: who's karlemagne?
R: our friend, tall karl, head chewer of the chung, chessmaster, lover of lesbians, pro-ninja lobbyist, sultan of snark?
K: ok, but what's with the 'karlemagne'?
R: don't put quotes around his name.
K: sorry, karlemagne, why karlemagne?
R: i'm glad you asked. do you remember your surprise when i told you what your name means?
K: i wasn't surprised. and yes i remember.
R: so what's kevin mean, kevlar?
K: gorgeous!
R: close, handsome. well, i happened to look up the meanings of the names of people we know, you know?
K: why?
R: 'cause i have 3 baby name books in my house and we're trying to decide what to call the new baby.
K: oh yeah, is this one getting nine names too?
R: yeah, well seven given...
K: so what's with the 'karlemagne'?
R: don't raise your fingers like that!
K: oh yeah, karlemagne!
R: karl is like carl, a short form of charles, meaning strong and manly farmer.
K: so?
R: so it made me think of charlemagne, king of the franks..
K: charlemagne, karlemagne, ok
R: it's got a nice ring to it.
K: so it's 'karl the great'?
R: yeah, but the only thing i'm not sure about is how karl would feel about having a moniker based on a french name, however 'great' it may be.
K: he might not like it.
R: right, and he's already also known as 'ponce'.
K: i never understood where that came from.
R: ponce de leon was a spaniard who explored florida in the 16th century.
K: and karl's from florida...
R: karlemagne.
K: hunh?
R: karlemagne's from florida.
K: i don't know rye, about this new world order of yours. how can a man be two historical figures and be both a spaniard and and a frank? sounds too gnarly.
R: good point kevlar. don't get too logical on me now.
K: so what's your name mean?
R: little king from the black river crowned with laurels.
K: bullshit.
R: no lie.
K: what's just ryan mean?
R: little king.
K: they forgot the ugly.
R: har! did you see that aaron's got a blog?
K: yeah, he's gonna use it brag about his beer!
R: so far it's been about podcasting, seinfeld and such...
K: a cover , a decoy! i'm gonna get that beer! he can't fool me!
R: kev, there is no beer.
K: there is! and when i find it i'm gonna find my ladder! i know it!
R: how are you gonna get in there? it's locked up tighter than jeans on a fat man!
K: i've rigged a silencer to a jack hammer and i'm gonna tunnel in through the canal, under the street some night while he's sleeping and get those remaining cases! i will!
R: ok, you'll give us an update afterwards right?
K: sure. by the way, what's aaron mean?
R: it's hebrew for 'enlightened', arabic for 'messenger'.
K: well i don't speak no arabic but you can give him this message for me, i'm coming for those california cases!
5 comments:
the part about kevin wanting his ladder back is made up. sorry. everything else is gospel.
I WANT TO GO TO SOUTH AMERICA!!! NOW AS IN RIGHT NOW. Fingers up , quotes marked, heels clicked, ruby shoes on.. NOW!
I am still here. I wonder when the great Brain-trust that is ry and his egos, will turn their jokes to Tim Hortons. McDonalds, Dairy Queen.. snow, owning a car and getting close enough to another car to get a dent.
I'm cool with the French, and think that Karlemagne is a great name. All in all, I'd rather be associated with a French king than a Spanish conquistador.
awesome! it's settled then. the spaniard is dead. long live the king!
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