punchline

... a receding hareline.

Another Kevlar Exclusive

R: That was a pretty cool video you put up on Ni Howdy yesterday, Kevlar.

K: Yeah, thanks. I watched it, like, 20 times last night and on every break at work yesterday!

R: It's definitely worth multiple views. Lotsa subtlties there a viewer may miss during the first or even second watch.

K: I like it. I think it's funny.

R: And what inspired you to sing this song?

K: I was teaching class the other day and Jan-Jan, our secretary, came to my door and said that she was in the office instant messenging with Bread...

R: And?

K: She says to me, "Bread says you should blow me."

R: Har! He's such a dick.

K: Yes, yes he is. Anyway, so then she asked me in her sweet little innocent Jan-Jan way, "What's that mean?"

R: He probably meant for her to say that you should blow him...

K: Well, yeah... but that's not what she said...

R: Did you tell her?

K: Well yeah... Anyway I got to thinking about Bread and how annoying he can be even when he's not here in Taiwan...

R: Yeah, he can get girls to do anything...

K: Yesss!! So remember that list of Bread-isms you wrote last year?

R: Yeah...

K: well, I thought BLOW ME should be added to the list. 'Cause he says that a lot...

R: Yes, yes he does...

K: So I thought how can I annoy Bread like he annoys me... I know! I'll sing one of his favorite songs but change the words into Bread-isms!

R: So you did.

K: No! I didn't! I made a whole new song! I was gonna do a Dylan song but it was too hard and I have a kid and a job and I just don't have that kinda time, you know?

R: I know.

K: So I had the idea and i did it. There. I think it's funny.

R: It's hilarious. Mail's been coming in from viewers saying they liked your guitar playing style but they had trouble understanding the lyrics...

K: We edited it yesterday. Linked to the lyrics in case anyone wants to sing along...

R: Cool.. You know I had to watch it 3 times before I figured out what the first verse was about?

K: Ha! Heh! And you wrote the f**kin thing!

R: Yeah. What's up with that?

K: That's funny.

R: So do you think you succeeded in annoying Bread?

K: Maybe. probably not. But I Hope So!

R: You sing so well with a cig in yer mouth.

K: Well...

R: Where can fans download this song?

K: Um.. I'll let you know... I might re-record it..

R: During pre-production of the song there was talk of you possibly playing TOPLESS.
Any truth to those rumours?

K: LIES!! All LIES!!!

R: wWhat's next in the world of Kevlar?

K: HYDRO-FOILS.. Fuck they're cool... Alexander Graham Bell invented 'em... rode on the Bras d'Or lake don't ya know... I saw a video about'em on youtube...

R: Teacher's day dinner tonight...

K: Oh yeah... electronic prizes!!

R All right then.. We gotta go...

K: Fine..

R: I see you're wearing your SPACE PANTS today...

K: SPACE PANTS? What are you talking about?

R: Your SPACE PANTS..

K: Why are they SPACE PANTS?

R: 'Cause your ASS is out of this world!!!!

K: Good then...

KMF #4 - MY GIRL (GONE GONE GONE)

Chilliwack circa 1981...

Charlie Taylor "Ain't No Hippy"

SS monkey, 2004

Kevlar Music Favs #3 - Sunglasses at Night

DV thinks Corey Hart is hunky in a Kevlar sort of way... Kevron Hart? Corey Gillfish? Hard to know where one stops and the other begins...

Today is his Kayness' birthday! I almost forgot but was reminded suddenly when I saw a wei dao cake on his desk! Thanks for nothin' DV!

Smashin' Beer Cannon Montage

This is nicely done. Watch this before you go to work this morning. Or any morning or afternoon or evening...

Beer Can Projectiles Knock the Shit Out of China

Norm Macdonald on Steve Irwin

Norm MacDonald weighs in on the Crocodile Hunter... and the Condy Rice - Peter McKay rumours... DV thinks it'll cheer up his Kayness for sure!

non-cake

it's been a whirlwind coupla weeks at work. His Kayness is fuming about his schedule... 7 jr II boys classes... that's grade 8 for non taiwan resident readers... 14 hours of pure hell..

Kevlar: god dammit. these kids are driving me crazy! 'would you sit down and shut up! and stop touching him'! I mean what the...?

Rye: i totally understand. it's rough. that sucks man.

K: yes! yes it sucks! the only class i didn't want!

R: there 4 levels right?

K: yes! 4 levels!

R: as a returning teacher were you invited to choose which classes you wanted?

K: yes! 5 times!!

R: 5 times?

K: they asked me to write down in order 1 to 4 which classes i preferred...

R: so you did?

K: Yes! and then they asked again! and again! i did all this last june!

R: so what did you want?

K: i asked for jr I and sr II (grade 11)

R: jr 1 is cake.

K: yes! yes it is! cake!

R: so how many of those did you get?

K: not a one!

R: how about sr II?

K: i got 4. and 1 sr I. AND 7 JR II BOYS CLASSES!! i don't know what i'm gonna do...

R: get that (beer) in ya... you'll feel better...

KEVLAR MF # 2 - ITS ALL OVER NOW, BABY BLUE -

we here at TWK are all very excited about the new dylan cd just out and the rave reviews it's received...

KEVLAR adores this dylan classic... this version UK, '65...

Kevlar's Music Favs # 1 - TAINTED LOVE - really...