Sunday, December 31

Wedding in K-Town




Two hours of fish and whiskey, oh yeah and people teasing me for not getting their Taiwanese jokes. I thought someone told me it was going to be at the Howard, that is why I got a room there.

Kevlar in K-Town





Kaoishung has a pricey hotel called the Howard. Everyone is smiling "Good morning sir.. Good afternoon sir..". At 4 pm "I am here to turn down the bed, sir". Someone came at 8 am to drop off a newspaper.. they rang the door but I couldn't get up. Great breakfast buffet. They had everything.

Went to the zoo. Saw "Love River", it was rainning so I didn't bother with the ferry ride. Went to an 'Expensive' night market, had my first Turkish icecream. went to a wedding.

Wednesday, December 27

freudian slip

poor cats, love and marriage

R: Hey Kevlar, what's a poor cat say?

K: I don't know.

R: Mei-you, Mei-you.

K: Ha! oh, you are so funny! I got one.

R: OK.

K: I asked my wife where she wanted to go on our anniversary.

R: What'd she say?

K: She said, "Someplace I've never been!"

R: Uh-huh.

K: So I said, "How about the kitchen?"

R: Har! So how long have you been married?

K: Two years.

R: So you're already counting the years then are you?

K: That's not funny and you're a... You know what kind of ring I got?

R: Um, a wedding ring?

K: No! Suffering!

the cotton anniversary

each wedding anniversary has some kind of material attached to it. the first is the paper anniversary, the second is cotton, leather the third and so on...

suggested gift ideas for kevlar to the wife are, in order of Kayness, a cotton field, a terrycloth towel, a Kevlar Loves the Wife T-shirt, blue jeans or a box of Q-tips, bulk only...

a complete run down on anniversary materials for marriages of all longevities, well til 80 anyway...

Two Years!

happy anniversary to his Kayness and Anne, more affectionately known as The Wife

Tuesday, December 26

Earthquakes

2006-12-26 20:40:00 5.2 108 21.94N 120.40E, i.e. 35.4 km W of Hengchun, Pingtung
2006-12-26 20:34:00 6.4 107 22.40N 120.51E, i.e. 27.9 km SE of Kaohsiung City
2006-12-26 20:26:00 6.7 106 21.89N 120.56E, i.e. 22.8 km WSW of Hengchun, Pingtung
2006-12-26 16:20:00 4.6 105 23.37N 121.32E, i.e. 70.3 km NNE of Taitung City

Thanks to the central weather bureau for getting this up promptly. I was watching the kid take a bath for the 6.4. Pretty scary to think you're leaving the house in under a minute and your half soaked. Well I changed clothes and prepared the kid to go out. Then I hoped another quake won't come while I'm sleeping. I never felt the 5.4. My Wife is watching the December 24, 2004 Tsunami movie on HBO. Think I'd rather watch some silly Japanese cartoons.

Monday, December 25

Toys R'Us



Is it cheating? I decided to buy "The wife " a new cellphone. She received a coupon from AmrosBank that gives her a free phone valued at 10000 nt if she signs a contract. I paid the cab fair she signed up for the phone. Is it cheating? I don't think so, I'm sure the phone bills will land on my desk. Then a 180 cab ride across town to the toy store. My kid was in heaven. Content to fill her mini-cart with legos and anything else. Not because she wanted the toys.. I think she only picked up and carted what she could lift. Anyway let loose in the pratically empty store she returned several times to this airplane. So Santa thought it a sign and put it in the cart. It whirls and twirls, lights and buzzes. However the curious little girl seems quite taken with the storage capacity of the trunk comparment. This maybe the future hiding place of Da Da's keys.

the marlin comes out at christmas time

you know it's the holiday season when kevlar busts out the christmas marlin. i just learned this today but the christmas marlin is a long standing tradition in the kevlar clan. no one knows why but the marlin is revered by antigonishers and kevlar wouldn't tell me today when i asked him. the only information i could get out of him was that all kevlars must knit one before passing to manhood and a fresh one must be eaten each christmas. if a marlin cannot be acquired, tuna fish is an acceptable substitute. abalone smothered in mayonaisse a distant third. buffet style is preferred.


Wednesday, December 20

A Christmas trees and an Elf


Oh yeah it took me 1 minute and 43 seconds ..because I had a helper.
OK last one... Darth Vader the meter man aspires to something greater, made me think of D-Train...

ripping on Star Wars again... this time the Emperor spouts some classic SW dialogue

another Family Guy clip, ... How To Get Women


I've never actually seen a full episode of the Family Guy but have heard good things...

In this one Luke Skywalker shows up a fellow pilot during the first Death Star briefing

Tuesday, December 19

what's in a name?

R: Hey Kevin, do you know what your name means?

K: Is this a joke?

R: No. Do you know?

K: No. Not really.

R: No idea?

K: OK, "Angel Saint".

R: What?

K: "Angel Saint".

R: You think your name means "Angel Saint"?

K: Well, you asked. Why? What's it mean then?

R: "Handsome". From Irish Gaelic.

K: That's it?

R: Or "Good Looking", if you prefer...

K: Figures.

Monday night wedding


The end of 2006 is forcing couples to tie the knot quick. Monday was his lucky day. Great for me cause I could make the trek to the Hua to see The Hoe and his little Miss Taipei. What a great time! Saw lots of people ate some food, drank some whisky and chased my daughter all over the restaurant.
All my pics were taken thru a high-tech blurred-whisky filter so I scanned the cards I collected.

X-Box is ill


X box won't power up. I left my game of Dragons Lair on pause to take my daughter for a stroll. I return to find the xbox and TV turned off. My daughter of one and a half thinks Dirk the daring is amusing to watch, he makes goofy sounds and jumps like a sissy. I attempt 20 times to get the power back,.. of course for the entertainment of the child and I failed. Some quick trouble shooting google research has led me to believe that I need a new fuse. Where can I take the box to get repaired? I'm affraid the store clerks will laugh at my old X-box and snicker at my foolishness in wanting to repair it.
I will take it to the place I got it chipped. Then I will try NOVA. Then I will try a TV repair shop. I would just like to know if there is a good place. ie"One stop repairing?"

'merry fuckin christmas'

mr. garrison explains the holidays to his 4th graders

No student gets left behind


Blast from the past guess who I ran into at Hoe's wedding! I am still in shock. After a mild recovery I got an ear full about Bush and the affects of the "No student gets left behind policy". Really interesting evening. Now if I can just get Elliot and Shane to cross paths.

Sunday, December 17

ghosts of viator past...speff jargo

This won't mean anything to anyone other than Kevlar but,...

Go by Caves bookstore at around 2:30 this afternoon and you'll be sure to catch the unique teaching stylings of Aussie Jeff Spargo... on the agenda, 'brooming', a sport which he invented, and the 'look at my eyes while I eat food' game which is sure to be a crowd pleaser. Whatever happens he'll be letting the kids decide what they want to do. Afterwards, he'll lay some newspaper down and have a wee nap at the foot of the stairs...

Thursday, December 14

I have and I want..





I have had a sony trv 340 for about 4 years. It is fine I think I got a fair amount of use out of it. It cost about 22000 nt and never had any serious problems. Christmas is coming and I want a HDR SR1. It cost 50000 and is not apple compatible. The AVCHD has 1080 lines, the trv340 had 500 (sorta). The new one takes video that looks like a mirror reflection.Awesome! I am affraid that with a few shots of tequilla I might be in line at the Sony store

Tuesday, December 12

THE LIFE AND DEATH OF A PUMPKIN by the same crew who did the Chad Vader movies...
Jesus Christ 'I Will Survive'
Don't do acid with this chick, she kills hot dogs! LSD propaganda film from the 60's...

Monday, December 11

Homer trips on a nasty hot pepper and goes on a spirit quest... featuring Johnny Cash as the voice of the coyote.

Sunday, December 10

...and now 'a positive LSD story'

the late great Bill Hicks...

Soldiers Test LSD

LSD was discovered not to enhance battlefield performance

the Inimitable Kevlar

In response to Red A's comment on Ni Howdy as to whether or not Kevlar is on drugs we here at TWK have to say NO, HE'S NOT. Although we've been encouraging Kevlar to become a user, he has declined time and again and we're quite aware that His Kayness has absolutely no need of them. In his mind, he's already gone. Anyone who's fortunate enough to know him, knows this.

So be like Kevlar and trip sober.

Watch this and follow the instructions.



BTW, I've got a rebellious tooth and am currently on painkillers and antibiotics. I'm considering having a glass of wine too.

Reloaded version of Ry song to Bread


Ry could you fix the archives to file stuff away... I can't change the settings

Tuesday, December 5

Hauling rocks and green screen attempts


The rock video is fine. The rest is too screwy.

R R R is not the sound of laughter

R: Why are you so funny?

K: The only thing funny around here is your jerry curl. When are you gonna

"CUT THAT HAIR!"

R: I think it would be better if I cut all of them.

K: So you are going to go get a haircut and do it yourself at the same time.
That is dumb!

R: I want a haircut not an education.. I don't need to learn how to cut hair.

K: Why don't you pay someone to cut your hair?

R: 'Cause I want to get fired.

K: "Fired'? You wanna get drunk and burn off your hair.

R: No. People who work here and cut their own hair get fired! Everybody knows that.

K: Well you have more experience than I do, so I guess you would know.

R: Ke, Si, Won, El all cut their hair. Si even shaves in the head, during break time.

K: Guess there was a lot of hair chit chat.

With all the attention to hair going around..

Why the delay in cutting your hair.

R: I didn't want the students to think I was a BIG Gay Faggot.


K: Too late.

shopping for kevlar

what is 200 m long, 100 m high, can dig holes visible from orbit and putts along at under a km per hr?

A BUCKET WHEEL EXCAVATOR of course...

just what kevlar needs

minutes ago....

K: hey Rye that snake video was kinda creepy..

R: yeah I think that's because it's in black and white...

K: no, no that's not it.

R: it looks more constructed?

K: no. hunh? what's that mean?

R: industrial?

K: i don't know what your talking about.

R: were you rooting for the tiger or the snake?

K: in the black and white video?

R: did you see a snake in the other one?

K: no.

R: then yes, the black and white one.

K: I don't know, snakes and tigers, they're all wild! probably the tiger..

R: so you were happy with the outcome?

K: I don't know, i didn't finish it. it was too hard to watch..

R: because of the quality or because of the lack of color?

K: because why are you posting videos of tigers fighting snakes anyway?

R: I don't know. I guess 'cause I found that tiger leaping out of the grass video again and got so turned on I thought I'd look for more tiger videos...

K: tiger fetishist!

R: fine but tigers are way cooler than pigs!

K: sexier maybe... cooler that's a tough one..

R: i can't believe you said that.

K: i said nothing .... where was that video filmed anyway?

R: India maybe...

K: why was the white guy in the tree?

R: probably so he wouldn't be eaten... tigers and snakes are dangerous you know..

K: enough then... i got class...

R: that's your opinion...

K: crank!

R: let's see how long we can only post in black and white...

K: you won't last too long...

R: how do you know that?

K: 'cause i talked to yer wife the other day and she said so that's why...

R: dick tree!

K: twat waffle!

R: i wanna see a KTV in Black and White...

K: no problem...I wanna stop talking to you making this shit up on your breaks..

R: a student told me a joke today...

K: yeah?

R: what animal makes women full of envy?

K: that's a strange question..

R: that's how he phrased it...

K: i don't know, what animal?

R: Z-Bra!

K: musta been a JR II class!

R: Jia ban! it killed!

K: let's make like a story and end!

Monday, December 4

Tiger takes on 25 foot Python

Brutal battle in black and white!

Fierce Tiger Attack: Reprise

I posted this before but it was taken down by Wildlife Films India. Someone has managed to put it up again. The video is slowed down but imagine how quickly that tiger appears from the grass to jump on top of the elephant...

Don't fuck with tigers.