a t t i c 3

R: so it's been awhile since we last spoke.

K: yeah, well take your time, don't rush it.

R: let's just get it done. last time i said i wanted to chat about a couple of things, the first being the cat you had to rescue in miaoli...

K: yes, apparently it stepped into a trap and then got poisoned. it was in pretty bad shape.

R: jeez. why did you have to go from taichung city to miaoli county to take care of the cat?

K: well, it was my cat, the wife's cat, before little kaia came along. we moved it to the in-law compound in the countryside to give it more room to roam around, catch mice and be cattish.

R: and it was scratching up your furniture...

K: yeah that and i didn't want it to maul kaia...

R: smart.

K: yeah, well i got a call one day from the wife. she said the cat was hurt or in trouble and i should go take care of it. take it to the vet.

R: why couldn't the in-laws take care of it? there are 7 or 8 of them and they have 3 cars between them. they're 5 minutes from the vet.

K: they thought that it would be better if i rode up there on my motorbike, pick up the cat and take it back to taichung. the wife agreed.

R: 'cause we have better cat doctors here than there?

K: i guess. they're useless. they pay companies to play video games for them. those role playing games, you know?

R: for what?

K: so they can play 24-7. they watch their game in their free time which is, as far as i can tell, all the time...

R: let's talk about karlemagne.

K: who's karlemagne?

R: our friend, tall karl, head chewer of the chung, chessmaster, lover of lesbians, pro-ninja lobbyist, sultan of snark?

K: ok, but what's with the 'karlemagne'?

R: don't put quotes around his name.

K: sorry, karlemagne, why karlemagne?

R: i'm glad you asked. do you remember your surprise when i told you what your name means?

K: i wasn't surprised. and yes i remember.

R: so what's kevin mean, kevlar?

K: gorgeous!

R: close, handsome. well, i happened to look up the meanings of the names of people we know, you know?

K: why?

R: 'cause i have 3 baby name books in my house and we're trying to decide what to call the new baby.

K: oh yeah, is this one getting nine names too?

R: yeah, well seven given...

K: so what's with the 'karlemagne'?

R: don't raise your fingers like that!

K: oh yeah, karlemagne!

R: karl is like carl, a short form of charles, meaning strong and manly farmer.

K: so?

R: so it made me think of charlemagne, king of the franks..

K: charlemagne, karlemagne, ok

R: it's got a nice ring to it.

K: so it's 'karl the great'?

R: yeah, but the only thing i'm not sure about is how karl would feel about having a moniker based on a french name, however 'great' it may be.

K: he might not like it.

R: right, and he's already also known as 'ponce'.

K: i never understood where that came from.

R: ponce de leon was a spaniard who explored florida in the 16th century.

K: and karl's from florida...

R: karlemagne.

K: hunh?

R: karlemagne's from florida.

K: i don't know rye, about this new world order of yours. how can a man be two historical figures and be both a spaniard and and a frank? sounds too gnarly.

R: good point kevlar. don't get too logical on me now.

K: so what's your name mean?

R: little king from the black river crowned with laurels.

K: bullshit.

R: no lie.

K: what's just ryan mean?

R: little king.

K: they forgot the ugly.

R: har! did you see that aaron's got a blog?

K: yeah, he's gonna use it brag about his beer!

R: so far it's been about podcasting, seinfeld and such...

K: a cover , a decoy! i'm gonna get that beer! he can't fool me!

R: kev, there is no beer.

K: there is! and when i find it i'm gonna find my ladder! i know it!

R: how are you gonna get in there? it's locked up tighter than jeans on a fat man!

K: i've rigged a silencer to a jack hammer and i'm gonna tunnel in through the canal, under the street some night while he's sleeping and get those remaining cases! i will!

R: ok, you'll give us an update afterwards right?

K: sure. by the way, what's aaron mean?

R: it's hebrew for 'enlightened', arabic for 'messenger'.

K: well i don't speak no arabic but you can give him this message for me, i'm coming for those california cases!