all my friends are sandwiches

The other day I asked Sandy this question:

"If Kevin were a sandwich, which sandwich do you think he would be?"

She responded without hesitation, "Tuna."

"With the mercury?"

"Yes. He smokes."

"He's a good smoker."

"Loyal."

"He's one of the great smokers."

"Maybe. Definitely tunafish."

Then that same day we saw an episode of Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm in which Larry, rich and famous from his Seinfeld days and living in L.A., is at first thrilled when his favorite deli names a sandwich after him. So the Larry David goes up on the Big Board with other celebrities. You walk in, you order, you say I'll have a Larry David. Made Larry feel pretty proud until he finds out his sandwich is white fish, mayo and bean sprouts or something, He hates his own sandwich. So he tries to trade sandwiches with Ted Danson whose sandwich is really manly like a turkey pastrami and mustard or some classic... Great comedy ensues.

So I started thinking, what if all my friends were sandwiches?

My menu in progress:

The Kevin Gillis. The Kevlar. The Tunafish Gillis. Canned beer. Cheese is extra.

The Mellow Texan. Roast beef, garlic butter and chiles. Beer served before the meal.

or

The Drunk Texan. A gallon of beer.

The Tall Karl. A club, cause it's tall. No Hot Karls.

or

The Karlemagne. Fresh venison from Crown lands. Served with mead.

The Red A. Monte Cristo, Deep Fried Ham and Cheese. Your choice of imported beer.

or

The Brett O'Neil. Bologna and avocado. Two for one Vodka Cran's.

The AJ. Full breakfast. Coffee then beer.

The Ass Crack Cheeseburger. D-Wayne's specialty. Then brownies.

The Geezer. Brit Paul Fish n Chips. Tar-tar sauce and bitter melon. Beer and Keep it coming.

The Dean-o. Whatever's good in Jersey. Beer.

The BIG ELL. Salmon. Beer.

My brother. known round these parts as the BF. Wild Game.

That's it for now. I don't have so many friends.

All sandwiches served on Rye Bread unless otherwise requested.

Suggestions welcome for perhaps other more famous Taichung residents.

Or if you don't like your sandwich let me know what you should be cause when I rent the vacant Fubar in January you're all going up on the Big Board!