Term: "Picking up stompies", originates from S.Africa. It is to
run over and pick up a smoker's smoking butt. It means to
continue and/or interrupt a conversation that you were not
following. In such a way that your input does not make any
sense. It is also someone who picks up butts to roll into a new
cigarette, which is made worse when they make the new
cigarette from someone else's ashtray. It is negative.
Term: "Cloth Ears", orginates from Kiwi Land. It is used to
describe an idiot or a group of idiots. It means to floss between
your ears with a cloth. It is negative
Wednesday, November 28
Tuesday, November 27
The Stray Sock
I have been trying to upload this little beaut, it keeps disconnecting. Come on luck!!!
One minute 53 seconds of sock rap hec.
Monday, November 26
S.A. Bonus D.I.Y.
1. Stripping down your wife's hair dryer, adding a paint scrapper and turning it into a heat gun to remove glue and paint.
2. Getting your car moving when the clutch cable is broken at an intersection.
A. Turn off the car.
B. Green light prepare to time and turn the starter to get the car moving in gear
and your off. it is jerky it is slow and it will kill the battery.
2. Getting your car moving when the clutch cable is broken at an intersection.
A. Turn off the car.
B. Green light prepare to time and turn the starter to get the car moving in gear
and your off. it is jerky it is slow and it will kill the battery.
New terms
"Lucky legs"(NZ), her legs are so thin she is lucky they don't snap off at the knee and get shoved up her arse.
" Ain't yer " (NZ) it ain't your fanny and it ain't your fanny.
" Interfucted" (CDN) Drunken Canadian version of cock-block. The term was created to refer
somewhat politely to the woman who eves dropped and interrupted the young Chinese woman
who was wondering/ complaining about her hairstyle, height and breast size to a (cough)
innocent male.
" Ain't yer " (NZ) it ain't your fanny and it ain't your fanny.
" Interfucted" (CDN) Drunken Canadian version of cock-block. The term was created to refer
somewhat politely to the woman who eves dropped and interrupted the young Chinese woman
who was wondering/ complaining about her hairstyle, height and breast size to a (cough)
innocent male.
Sunday, November 25
family planning
"Kids sleeping?"
"Yep. Yours?"
"Sort of. I can go out."
"Good."
"On my way."
Kev was standing and smoking when I got there. He handed me a Kirin and we sat down.
"I heard you coming." A reference to my scooter's squeaky brakes. "You should get that looked at."
"I know they're bad. People hear me coming. The horn works, too."
"Anne says that if I want to have another kid it's now or never."
"What? Now or never? Why?"
"That's what she said. It's now or never."
"Menopause?"
"Hunh? NO!"
"Now or never? So cut and dry? Any room for negotiation there? She's not even 28. Is she?"
Kev shrugged and shook his head. "I don't know."
"You don't know how old your wife is?", I asked.
"I don't know why she said now or never. She's a crazy person!"
"There must be some reason. Maybe so there's not a large age gap between siblings. What do you think?"
"Maybe. You guys had another baby right away."
"Yeah. But it's a lot more work. And Sandy's pretty helpful, you know, doing stuff."
"Sandy once said that having two kids is twice as much work as having one!"
"It is. You think you're busy now! You know how you look at your friends who don't have kids and fantasize about the oodles and oodles of free time they must be enjoying? Doing stuff?... Whenever they want?"
"Yeah?"
"When you have two kids you look at your friends who have only one kid and think about the kind of free time they must be having with just one kid!"
Kev rattles off a series of throaty giggles, raises his eyebrows and nods "I can imagine! I thought I'd like the next one in Canada."
"So you are having another one!"
"Not yet."
"But it's now or never, you said she said. You dispute this?"
"How do I get the wife to live in Canada?"
"Drugs? No! Tie her up!"
"Hmmm."
"If you conceive now then you'll have a summer baby again."
"What'll she do there?"
"Take care of the kids. She should teach Chinese."
"Yeah, she's not gonna go for that."
"Go for what?"
"Working."
"Retired is she?"
"Maybe."
"She can take care of the kids at least."
"When are you having your third?"
"That's not gonna happen."
"How can you be sure?"
"I got a vasectomy yesterday."
Kev winces. "You didn't. Did you?"
"They're cheap. I'm getting my teeth cleaned next week."
"Yep. Yours?"
"Sort of. I can go out."
"Good."
"On my way."
Kev was standing and smoking when I got there. He handed me a Kirin and we sat down.
"I heard you coming." A reference to my scooter's squeaky brakes. "You should get that looked at."
"I know they're bad. People hear me coming. The horn works, too."
"Anne says that if I want to have another kid it's now or never."
"What? Now or never? Why?"
"That's what she said. It's now or never."
"Menopause?"
"Hunh? NO!"
"Now or never? So cut and dry? Any room for negotiation there? She's not even 28. Is she?"
Kev shrugged and shook his head. "I don't know."
"You don't know how old your wife is?", I asked.
"I don't know why she said now or never. She's a crazy person!"
"There must be some reason. Maybe so there's not a large age gap between siblings. What do you think?"
"Maybe. You guys had another baby right away."
"Yeah. But it's a lot more work. And Sandy's pretty helpful, you know, doing stuff."
"Sandy once said that having two kids is twice as much work as having one!"
"It is. You think you're busy now! You know how you look at your friends who don't have kids and fantasize about the oodles and oodles of free time they must be enjoying? Doing stuff?... Whenever they want?"
"Yeah?"
"When you have two kids you look at your friends who have only one kid and think about the kind of free time they must be having with just one kid!"
Kev rattles off a series of throaty giggles, raises his eyebrows and nods "I can imagine! I thought I'd like the next one in Canada."
"So you are having another one!"
"Not yet."
"But it's now or never, you said she said. You dispute this?"
"How do I get the wife to live in Canada?"
"Drugs? No! Tie her up!"
"Hmmm."
"If you conceive now then you'll have a summer baby again."
"What'll she do there?"
"Take care of the kids. She should teach Chinese."
"Yeah, she's not gonna go for that."
"Go for what?"
"Working."
"Retired is she?"
"Maybe."
"She can take care of the kids at least."
"When are you having your third?"
"That's not gonna happen."
"How can you be sure?"
"I got a vasectomy yesterday."
Kev winces. "You didn't. Did you?"
"They're cheap. I'm getting my teeth cleaned next week."
Friday, November 23
mythbusters baseball myths
Mythbusters Baseball Program busts the myth of the corked bat. The bat filled with cork did not hit the ball as far as the regulation bat. In fact, the corked bat actually drove the ball half as far. Despite the televised experiments, there are plenty of dissenters in the comment area.
Third Grade science Cool moth found on school wall
Taiwan bugs... I have misplaced the paper with the name of this moth.. bet you can't find out what this special bug is called. If only I knew a latin-reading person to help me with the science.
Monday, November 19
Friday, November 16
Babe Ruth
This real footage from the 20s and is part of the Ken Burns' Baseball documentary.
The Babe busts up a math class.
"Whaddya mean keeping these boys inside when there's baseball to played!"
The Babe busts up a math class.
"Whaddya mean keeping these boys inside when there's baseball to played!"
baseball names
R: the IBAF should require teams to have nicknames.
K: who?
R: for the baseball teams. international teams should have nicknames representative of the countries' history, culture...
K: oh, the baseball. like what?
R: how about the spanish conquistadores? they could take the field with those funky metal hats and puffy pants, flanked by priests and crucifixes.
K: i see. the matadors would be better.
R: why?
K: tighter pants.
R: canada?
K: beavers!
R: leafs?
K: no, beavers.
R: the u.s.?
K: yankees. then the taiwanese would cheer for them.
R: good point. how about marines?
K: next.
R: japan.
K: adult comic books. sake? fish?
R: kamikazes.
K: fine. who else? korea kimchi!
R: hermits.
K: soju!
R: bi bim bap!
K: kimchi is better.
R: bi bim bap includes kimchi.
K: protesters! yeah!
R: australia?
K: beaches. crocs. i don't know. are you almost done?
R: thailand?
K: thailand plays baseball?
R: yeah. how about the kings?
K: or the lady boys. yeah!
R: holland?
K: smokers!
R: yes! cuba?
K: castros. commies. brett would say commies.
R: you're his bitch aren't you?
K: i'm leaving.
R: wait wait. panama?
K: panamaniacs!
R: diggers?
K: that's stupid.
R: mexico?
K: tacos.
R: mariachi.
K: sombreros. no wait, i change my answer. cerveza!
R: lemon wedges.
K: i gotta go. south africa got a team?
R: yep. the apartheid.
K: isn't that over? diamonds.
R: diamonds is good though they suck hard. italy?
K: marco polos!
R: romans.
K: no. ruins!
R: germany?
K: engineers.
R: venezuela.
K: i don't know where that is.
R: they have oil.
K: greasers!
R last one. taiwan.
K: hmmmm... kmt? islands?
R: islanders?
K: scooters. chewers.
R: formosan bears?
K: there you have it. thanks. i gotta go. anne's calling.
K: who?
R: for the baseball teams. international teams should have nicknames representative of the countries' history, culture...
K: oh, the baseball. like what?
R: how about the spanish conquistadores? they could take the field with those funky metal hats and puffy pants, flanked by priests and crucifixes.
K: i see. the matadors would be better.
R: why?
K: tighter pants.
R: canada?
K: beavers!
R: leafs?
K: no, beavers.
R: the u.s.?
K: yankees. then the taiwanese would cheer for them.
R: good point. how about marines?
K: next.
R: japan.
K: adult comic books. sake? fish?
R: kamikazes.
K: fine. who else? korea kimchi!
R: hermits.
K: soju!
R: bi bim bap!
K: kimchi is better.
R: bi bim bap includes kimchi.
K: protesters! yeah!
R: australia?
K: beaches. crocs. i don't know. are you almost done?
R: thailand?
K: thailand plays baseball?
R: yeah. how about the kings?
K: or the lady boys. yeah!
R: holland?
K: smokers!
R: yes! cuba?
K: castros. commies. brett would say commies.
R: you're his bitch aren't you?
K: i'm leaving.
R: wait wait. panama?
K: panamaniacs!
R: diggers?
K: that's stupid.
R: mexico?
K: tacos.
R: mariachi.
K: sombreros. no wait, i change my answer. cerveza!
R: lemon wedges.
K: i gotta go. south africa got a team?
R: yep. the apartheid.
K: isn't that over? diamonds.
R: diamonds is good though they suck hard. italy?
K: marco polos!
R: romans.
K: no. ruins!
R: germany?
K: engineers.
R: venezuela.
K: i don't know where that is.
R: they have oil.
K: greasers!
R last one. taiwan.
K: hmmmm... kmt? islands?
R: islanders?
K: scooters. chewers.
R: formosan bears?
K: there you have it. thanks. i gotta go. anne's calling.
Thursday, November 15
Third Grade science
My 10 cm grasshopper is going to make a jailbreak today. Here are some of the SUPERWORMs that will emerge from their Pupas to become beetles. Science is fun.
Monday, November 12
Friday, November 9
Thursday, November 8
Sky Blue
Light was kinda of a tricky term. Sky Blue is plenty vague, it suits that greyish blue colour
that appears from ashtrays. Here is a pic of the new, new packaging. The labeling is confusing
smokers. You know AJ has quit smoking for more than five months... when am I going to get on
that bus? How does one go about quitting?..... AGRHH! Today is the first day of winter, and I
need to eat ginger duck for my health. Oh yeah and I have a frigde full of Chang beer from RT-
Mart. But if I start now I could be successful by Jan.1..
Tuna
to say "if I was a steak.. I might look like this... or something rather..Like if Kevlar had to be a
fish steak, he would be a tuna steak. Her husband would be a deep fried Chinese breaded fish
pattie with greasy fries and a pickled egg.
Tuesday, November 6
all my friends are sandwiches
The other day I asked Sandy this question:
"If Kevin were a sandwich, which sandwich do you think he would be?"
She responded without hesitation, "Tuna."
"With the mercury?"
"Yes. He smokes."
"He's a good smoker."
"Loyal."
"He's one of the great smokers."
"Maybe. Definitely tunafish."
Then that same day we saw an episode of Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm in which Larry, rich and famous from his Seinfeld days and living in L.A., is at first thrilled when his favorite deli names a sandwich after him. So the Larry David goes up on the Big Board with other celebrities. You walk in, you order, you say I'll have a Larry David. Made Larry feel pretty proud until he finds out his sandwich is white fish, mayo and bean sprouts or something, He hates his own sandwich. So he tries to trade sandwiches with Ted Danson whose sandwich is really manly like a turkey pastrami and mustard or some classic... Great comedy ensues.
So I started thinking, what if all my friends were sandwiches?
My menu in progress:
The Kevin Gillis. The Kevlar. The Tunafish Gillis. Canned beer. Cheese is extra.
The Mellow Texan. Roast beef, garlic butter and chiles. Beer served before the meal.
or
The Drunk Texan. A gallon of beer.
The Tall Karl. A club, cause it's tall. No Hot Karls.
or
The Karlemagne. Fresh venison from Crown lands. Served with mead.
The Red A. Monte Cristo, Deep Fried Ham and Cheese. Your choice of imported beer.
or
The Brett O'Neil. Bologna and avocado. Two for one Vodka Cran's.
The AJ. Full breakfast. Coffee then beer.
The Ass Crack Cheeseburger. D-Wayne's specialty. Then brownies.
The Geezer. Brit Paul Fish n Chips. Tar-tar sauce and bitter melon. Beer and Keep it coming.
The Dean-o. Whatever's good in Jersey. Beer.
The BIG ELL. Salmon. Beer.
My brother. known round these parts as the BF. Wild Game.
That's it for now. I don't have so many friends.
All sandwiches served on Rye Bread unless otherwise requested.
Suggestions welcome for perhaps other more famous Taichung residents.
Or if you don't like your sandwich let me know what you should be cause when I rent the vacant Fubar in January you're all going up on the Big Board!
"If Kevin were a sandwich, which sandwich do you think he would be?"
She responded without hesitation, "Tuna."
"With the mercury?"
"Yes. He smokes."
"He's a good smoker."
"Loyal."
"He's one of the great smokers."
"Maybe. Definitely tunafish."
Then that same day we saw an episode of Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm in which Larry, rich and famous from his Seinfeld days and living in L.A., is at first thrilled when his favorite deli names a sandwich after him. So the Larry David goes up on the Big Board with other celebrities. You walk in, you order, you say I'll have a Larry David. Made Larry feel pretty proud until he finds out his sandwich is white fish, mayo and bean sprouts or something, He hates his own sandwich. So he tries to trade sandwiches with Ted Danson whose sandwich is really manly like a turkey pastrami and mustard or some classic... Great comedy ensues.
So I started thinking, what if all my friends were sandwiches?
My menu in progress:
The Kevin Gillis. The Kevlar. The Tunafish Gillis. Canned beer. Cheese is extra.
The Mellow Texan. Roast beef, garlic butter and chiles. Beer served before the meal.
or
The Drunk Texan. A gallon of beer.
The Tall Karl. A club, cause it's tall. No Hot Karls.
or
The Karlemagne. Fresh venison from Crown lands. Served with mead.
The Red A. Monte Cristo, Deep Fried Ham and Cheese. Your choice of imported beer.
or
The Brett O'Neil. Bologna and avocado. Two for one Vodka Cran's.
The AJ. Full breakfast. Coffee then beer.
The Ass Crack Cheeseburger. D-Wayne's specialty. Then brownies.
The Geezer. Brit Paul Fish n Chips. Tar-tar sauce and bitter melon. Beer and Keep it coming.
The Dean-o. Whatever's good in Jersey. Beer.
The BIG ELL. Salmon. Beer.
My brother. known round these parts as the BF. Wild Game.
That's it for now. I don't have so many friends.
All sandwiches served on Rye Bread unless otherwise requested.
Suggestions welcome for perhaps other more famous Taichung residents.
Or if you don't like your sandwich let me know what you should be cause when I rent the vacant Fubar in January you're all going up on the Big Board!
Monday, November 5
Just a think
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
"If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to treat everything as if it were a nail." -- Abraham Maslow
"If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to treat everything as if it were a nail." -- Abraham Maslow
Sunday, November 4
Taichung Urban Legend or maybe not
Spring Scream 2007, drugs, booze, and sex.
A white male carrying a back pack passes out from entertaining. If you are easily
disgusted STOP reading. For this is the legend known as "Broke Back Ruck Sack".
Entrusted to his friends care the drunken male slept away. A Taiwanese body builder
came on the scene and thought the white man held some signs of love. He took out his
dick and proceeded to skull fuck the white guy. The white guys friends took
pictures and laughed. Before the TW male shot his load, one of broke backs
friends thought he should tell the guy to stop.
Disturbed from my cheery beer I asked the woman telling me this story How she
heard this legend? To which she responded she met him last weekend. He was out with
his friends, and they were teasing him, with his new nick name "Broke Back Ruck
sack". To which I could only respond, "WHAT FRIENDS!!"
Said woman responded " It was rape" and this stuff happens to women.
But Christ Almighty that is just so NOT cool. A guy farts in your face while you
were asleep, Tea bagged by your roommate, but skull fucked by a stranger...
Faith Healing
I pitched up on the pitch of Morrison to play my first ever game of Namby Pamby.
OR I went to Morrison to play two hand touch Rugby.
The S.A.'s and the Kiwi talk about rugby so much. When asked for the tenth time
I said " I would think about it". I was willing to over look my late night draft
beers on Friday to play on Saturday afternoon.
I haven't been this sore since running the hundred meter dash against Mark McIssac
in the third grade. Rugby is a running sport, which requires a lot of ball movement
and ball-location-throw-catch-prediction. I like the ball, it is easy to catch, and
not so hard to throw in a spiral pattern with two hands. At some point I ran to get
score a try and the ball slipped out before I crossed the line. I blushed.
Saturday night I had a reason to shower and Ry and A.J. asked me to Fuber. I
picked up the Daughter and jumped in a cab. Sore muscles, but high from the events
of my day. I am anxious to play again. I spoke to John about playing touch on
Sunday, I got a tired drunken stare of "Are you drunken?".
It is Sunday and I wanna hit the pool, I might just brave the cool 23'
temperatures. I need this day to recover, pray for flexibility, my legs are so
stiff I have twice stubbed my toe and almost fell up-the-stairs
I guess I should report a Kevlar sighting, however brief it may have been. Kev and Kaia came by Fubar last night around 10:30, said hi and was gone again in an instant 'cause Kaia wouldn't agree to be shackled to the table. Go figure, she's two. Karl bought him a beer and I just had a chance to comment on his retina searing orange beach wear when he decided to take the little one home. No chance for dialogue. I suggested he get her home to bed, with her mom, and return to the bar for a drink but he looked at me like I was asking the impossible. I hope he can pencil me in sometime in December.
Big crowd for Angie's going away party. Faye and the Slacks played, but were done by the time I got there. I have never ever seen so many women at D-Wayne's bar nor do I think I ever will again as he's shutting it down in January.
Word is Karl's gonna open up a Chess Bar.
Or maybe John will open a Texas Style Chili Bar.
Or PJ's Expansion Irish Steak House Hair Care Center and Spa.
Big crowd for Angie's going away party. Faye and the Slacks played, but were done by the time I got there. I have never ever seen so many women at D-Wayne's bar nor do I think I ever will again as he's shutting it down in January.
Word is Karl's gonna open up a Chess Bar.
Or maybe John will open a Texas Style Chili Bar.
Or PJ's Expansion Irish Steak House Hair Care Center and Spa.
Friday, November 2
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