R: nice rain pants kev.
K: yeah, well, they keep me... not wet.
R: unwet?
K: dry! yeah.
R: why did you get the pink ones? why not the blue ones?
K: they're red.
R: they look pink to me.
K: ok, well, they're red, dingleberry.
R: did you just call me dingleberry? they're definitely pink.
K: red. they're red.
R: maybe purpley. kinda creamy pink.
K: Ok, whatever. i gotta go smoke.
R: why didn't you get the men's rain suit? you know, the blue one, like all the men wear.
K: this one's red.
R: yeah, ok, but don't you ever notice that only women wear that color?
K: no, that can't be true.
R: that's your standard cheap taiwan rubber rainsuit. blue for men, pink for the ladies.
K: oh bullshit.
R: seems to me.
K: so i shouldn't wear it to my interview?
R: maybe not.
K: but i look hot in it.
R: well, slap on a tie and try it. i hear they're looking for a replacement for pimp at xin min. maybe some bling. wear your nose ring, bra.
K: you should see me when i drive away. i look cool.
R: but your bike is blue. it's almost as if you're asserting your feminine side, pink on blue. i think you must like to be dominated. yin on yang. go wet then.
K: i keep my cigarettes in here.
R: no hood?
K: no, they're fine.
R: hood!
K: no, thanks.
R: how can you fit in those?
K: cause i'm not some beer drinkin a fat ass... person!
R: you're emaciated.
K: what?
R: you're too thin.
K: what was that first word?
R: emaciated. brett's description, not mine. those zoo pics from last augustin taipei. the scorcher of a day with the kids? next to the zebra pen? he thought you were really in africa.
K: horseshit!
R: he said you've got the body of an anorexic teenage girl.
K: yoouu lie!
R: except for the... you know ... fur.
K: i like back mane. sounds better.
R: back mane it is, sweating in a rubber suit.
1 comment:
If Brett says you have the body of an anorexic teenage girl, it's probably true. He's the undisputed expert on teenage girl bodies.
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