Oh yeah! She is so hot.
Friday, June 29
Wednesday, June 27
What I found in the corner..
While collecting dust bunnies and ants with the vacuum, I found this little gem in the corner. It is a blob of cement mixed with broken glass. Guess someone thought broken glass was easier to work with then sand or a few stones.
A hammer and an old towel outta sort it out. I wonder what is inside the cement blob that required the extra security?
Tuesday, June 26
quote of the week
"...ah'll blog that shit. i don't give a fuck. better than that kevlar blog. all it is is ryan said, kevin said, ryan said. picture. kevin said. that's the blog!... christ that shit gets old after a while."
- esquire willy
- esquire willy
fantasy baseball
rye's shiretowners remain ranked 11th, 6th place in the international division, 27 and a half games off the pace. the shiretowners overcame fellow expansion team tai-pan 8-5-2 last week despite some poor management decisions... shiretowners' 3rd win in 4 weeks!
Sunday, June 24
Gone Fishin'
R: I heard your brother went fishing.
K: He likes to fish.
R: I heard he caught crabs.
K: No. I think you heard your brother got crabs.
R: Well your cousin went trawling in international waters and caught nothing.
K: He is big on "Catch and Release".
R: Is there a size requirement?
K: I don't have any idea, what the requirements are!
K: He likes to fish.
R: I heard he caught crabs.
K: No. I think you heard your brother got crabs.
R: Well your cousin went trawling in international waters and caught nothing.
K: He is big on "Catch and Release".
R: Is there a size requirement?
K: I don't have any idea, what the requirements are!
Saturday, June 23
'lord of the boxes'
this looks like such fun eh red a?
"who knew guys in brown shirts could cause such trouble?"
"who knew guys in brown shirts could cause such trouble?"
Tuesday, June 19
dragon boat advice
at 11:52 this morning, rye's cell rings. it's kevlar, otherwise listed as 'for a good time call'...
K: hey, how's it goin?
R: ok. what's up?
K: did you know that today at noon an egg will stand on its end?
R: huh?
K: at noon. today. an egg will stand on its end but only at noon. because it's dragon boat day.
R: you're in miaoli aren't you?
K: yeah. the in-laws say the egg will stand on its own.
R: is that right? are you gonna try it?
K: yeah, maybe, i don't know.
R: well, let me know how it works out 'cause i'm outta eggs.
K: also, if you're gonna change the water in your water tank, you know the one on top of your house, you should do it before noon today and dig out of the ground, yourself, with chopsticks, and don't get your fingernails dirty, that way you'll get the freshest possible water.
R: you haven't spoken english in 4 days, have you?
K: well, kaia and i chat a lot.
R: yeah, and she's almost 2.
K: yeah, well, just thought i'd, you know, let you know about that stuff.
R: you should make your own version of mythbusters!
K: yesss!
R: i gotta go, i'm holding burl..
K: ok. talk to you later...
K: hey, how's it goin?
R: ok. what's up?
K: did you know that today at noon an egg will stand on its end?
R: huh?
K: at noon. today. an egg will stand on its end but only at noon. because it's dragon boat day.
R: you're in miaoli aren't you?
K: yeah. the in-laws say the egg will stand on its own.
R: is that right? are you gonna try it?
K: yeah, maybe, i don't know.
R: well, let me know how it works out 'cause i'm outta eggs.
K: also, if you're gonna change the water in your water tank, you know the one on top of your house, you should do it before noon today and dig out of the ground, yourself, with chopsticks, and don't get your fingernails dirty, that way you'll get the freshest possible water.
R: you haven't spoken english in 4 days, have you?
K: well, kaia and i chat a lot.
R: yeah, and she's almost 2.
K: yeah, well, just thought i'd, you know, let you know about that stuff.
R: you should make your own version of mythbusters!
K: yesss!
R: i gotta go, i'm holding burl..
K: ok. talk to you later...
big ell baseball update
rye's shiretowners beat the seattle rainiers 10-4-1 to continue to move up in the standings, to 11th place from 13th last week. we go up against fellow expansion team tai pan this week.
Tuesday, June 12
Monday, June 11
waivers and rubber suit
a leisure suit that is, rubber leisure suit. free agent in a rubber leisure suit.
R: nice rain pants kev.
K: yeah, well, they keep me... not wet.
R: unwet?
K: dry! yeah.
R: why did you get the pink ones? why not the blue ones?
K: they're red.
R: they look pink to me.
K: ok, well, they're red, dingleberry.
R: did you just call me dingleberry? they're definitely pink.
K: red. they're red.
R: maybe purpley. kinda creamy pink.
K: Ok, whatever. i gotta go smoke.
R: why didn't you get the men's rain suit? you know, the blue one, like all the men wear.
K: this one's red.
R: yeah, ok, but don't you ever notice that only women wear that color?
K: no, that can't be true.
R: that's your standard cheap taiwan rubber rainsuit. blue for men, pink for the ladies.
K: oh bullshit.
R: seems to me.
K: so i shouldn't wear it to my interview?
R: maybe not.
K: but i look hot in it.
R: well, slap on a tie and try it. i hear they're looking for a replacement for pimp at xin min. maybe some bling. wear your nose ring, bra.
K: you should see me when i drive away. i look cool.
R: but your bike is blue. it's almost as if you're asserting your feminine side, pink on blue. i think you must like to be dominated. yin on yang. go wet then.
K: i keep my cigarettes in here.
R: no hood?
K: no, they're fine.
R: hood!
K: no, thanks.
R: how can you fit in those?
K: cause i'm not some beer drinkin a fat ass... person!
R: you're emaciated.
K: what?
R: you're too thin.
K: what was that first word?
R: emaciated. brett's description, not mine. those zoo pics from last augustin taipei. the scorcher of a day with the kids? next to the zebra pen? he thought you were really in africa.
K: horseshit!
R: he said you've got the body of an anorexic teenage girl.
K: yoouu lie!
R: except for the... you know ... fur.
K: i like back mane. sounds better.
R: back mane it is, sweating in a rubber suit.
R: nice rain pants kev.
K: yeah, well, they keep me... not wet.
R: unwet?
K: dry! yeah.
R: why did you get the pink ones? why not the blue ones?
K: they're red.
R: they look pink to me.
K: ok, well, they're red, dingleberry.
R: did you just call me dingleberry? they're definitely pink.
K: red. they're red.
R: maybe purpley. kinda creamy pink.
K: Ok, whatever. i gotta go smoke.
R: why didn't you get the men's rain suit? you know, the blue one, like all the men wear.
K: this one's red.
R: yeah, ok, but don't you ever notice that only women wear that color?
K: no, that can't be true.
R: that's your standard cheap taiwan rubber rainsuit. blue for men, pink for the ladies.
K: oh bullshit.
R: seems to me.
K: so i shouldn't wear it to my interview?
R: maybe not.
K: but i look hot in it.
R: well, slap on a tie and try it. i hear they're looking for a replacement for pimp at xin min. maybe some bling. wear your nose ring, bra.
K: you should see me when i drive away. i look cool.
R: but your bike is blue. it's almost as if you're asserting your feminine side, pink on blue. i think you must like to be dominated. yin on yang. go wet then.
K: i keep my cigarettes in here.
R: no hood?
K: no, they're fine.
R: hood!
K: no, thanks.
R: how can you fit in those?
K: cause i'm not some beer drinkin a fat ass... person!
R: you're emaciated.
K: what?
R: you're too thin.
K: what was that first word?
R: emaciated. brett's description, not mine. those zoo pics from last augustin taipei. the scorcher of a day with the kids? next to the zebra pen? he thought you were really in africa.
K: horseshit!
R: he said you've got the body of an anorexic teenage girl.
K: yoouu lie!
R: except for the... you know ... fur.
K: i like back mane. sounds better.
R: back mane it is, sweating in a rubber suit.
monday fantasy news
it's worth noting today that rye's fantasy team, the shiretowners, has officially moved out of last place in the taiwan division of big ell mlb. current rank - 13 of 14.
rye and big ell played to a 7-7-1 draw, ell mounting a mighty comeback from 9-4 down earlier in the week. good match ell! ell's yangminshan yankees rank 2 of 14.
rye and big ell played to a 7-7-1 draw, ell mounting a mighty comeback from 9-4 down earlier in the week. good match ell! ell's yangminshan yankees rank 2 of 14.
Sunday, June 10
Thursday, June 7
cleveland
R: hey kev, didn't know you were an indians fan.
K: indians? i think the word you're searching for is first nations.
R: cleveland indians.
K: oh, right. the shirt. yeah, big fan! they're awesome!
R: what do you know about cleveland?
K: you gave me this shirt!
R: technically, sandy got it for you, i didn't give you shit.
K: well, thanks anyway.
R: must have been from the bargain bin on tea street 'cause i've seen some other guys wearin' 'em too...
K: whatever. i kinda like it! go indians!
R: they're doing well this year. my in-laws live in cleveland.
K: yes, i knew that.
R: d-wayne is a big tribe fan too.
K: is that so?
R: yep. so what do you know about cleveland?
K: um, they have a baseball team?
R: yep. what else?
K: ummmm, it's the land of cleves!
R: what's a cleve k-dog?
K: a cleve! the indians used to use cleves to chop things up!
R: like a cleaver?
K: no, rye, a cleeeever... don't you know anything? i thought you liked history!
Wednesday, June 6
no one can lose forever
just a quick fantasy note for the record: thanks to everybody for your kindness and support through 8 weeks (inc. 1 tie) of losing fantasy baseball games. i know it's hard to love a loser... this doesn't include d-wayne or big ell who have combined to eviscerate, man handle and pistol whip me to the tune of 3 defeats - 2 by d-wayne, 1 by ell - and i'm playing the commish again this week... hope my guys show up or i'm gonna get butt raped again...
here's what was said tuesday morning...
K: hey rye, how'd your fantasy team do?
R: awesome! i totally bitch slapped the cubans! ohhhh yeaaah! and that was with castro in the lineup!
ahhh, that felt good...
here's what was said tuesday morning...
K: hey rye, how'd your fantasy team do?
R: awesome! i totally bitch slapped the cubans! ohhhh yeaaah! and that was with castro in the lineup!
ahhh, that felt good...
#30 all time!
score one for the kevlar/rye video axis!
jellyfish lake, palau, '04 is weighing in as youtube's #30 most discussed video all time - travel and places - CHINESE!
down from #28 last week.
boo-yah!
jellyfish lake, palau, '04 is weighing in as youtube's #30 most discussed video all time - travel and places - CHINESE!
down from #28 last week.
boo-yah!
k q o t d
2:45 pm
" My next class is at 4:25. I'm going to look at some shoes. Not because my feet are wet but because they are falling apart - the shoes! - so I've got some time to go shopping."
" My next class is at 4:25. I'm going to look at some shoes. Not because my feet are wet but because they are falling apart - the shoes! - so I've got some time to go shopping."
Tuesday, June 5
Cranberry Song "E" version
I had quotes for this one.
Lyrics:
Mr. Cranberry, Mr. Cranberry
Mr. Cranberry likes to drink Cranberry juice
Mr.cranberry likes to drink cranberry juice
( Why WON'T you drink a beer?)
It's hot here. It's so hot here.
( Smoking cig's and having fun!)
How did I live here for four years?
Mr. Cranberry how did you do it?
Mr. Cranberry how did you do it?
Lyrics:
Mr. Cranberry, Mr. Cranberry
Mr. Cranberry likes to drink Cranberry juice
Mr.cranberry likes to drink cranberry juice
( Why WON'T you drink a beer?)
It's hot here. It's so hot here.
( Smoking cig's and having fun!)
How did I live here for four years?
Mr. Cranberry how did you do it?
Mr. Cranberry how did you do it?
Cranberry song first version
Lyrics:
What to write?
What to right?
Up and down I search all day. Looking for the cranberry.
Here and there you tell your lines.
No no no I can't say
No no no He ain't gay
No he...
Mr. Cranberry Mr.Cranberry
Why don't you drink beer?
Oh Mr. Cranberry
its quiet here. Nobody drinks a beer
and i'm smoking all my cig's
and having so much fun
Yeah..
Water ways
Pouring rain outside. 9am knock at the door. Kevlar awake, nude and watching CNN. Puts on jeans goes to door.
Old Gwan Li Fae Woman: Chinese chinese CHINESE.
Kevlar: (Scratches belly) says hello??
OGLFW: Wants to know what Kevlar did to make her "bathroom celing rain".
K: I got a new bathtub last weak... It is raining outside and my ceiling is leaking come in and look.
OGLFW: Did you install the bathtub yourself?
K: No, a guy that does poor work did it.
OGLFW: someone has to pay for the damage to my bathroom ceiling.
K: Call my land lord
OGLFW: The whole building is leaking and people can't sleep at night. When you shower my ceiling leaks. Did you choose the person to fix the tub?
K: Ahh.. my tub is leaking because the stupid tub installer didn't attach the drain correctly.
OGLFW: Are you going to fix my bathroom?
K: Here is the landlord's number. (she looks at my topless body suspiciously).
OGLFW: Someone has to pay. What am I going to do about the leaking ceiling?
K: Here is the number, bye bye.
OGLFW: leaves grumpily.
Kevlar: ( goes to roof to clear debris from clogged drains, in the hopes it will slow the leak in his computer room)
Old Gwan Li Fae Woman: Chinese chinese CHINESE.
Kevlar: (Scratches belly) says hello??
OGLFW: Wants to know what Kevlar did to make her "bathroom celing rain".
K: I got a new bathtub last weak... It is raining outside and my ceiling is leaking come in and look.
OGLFW: Did you install the bathtub yourself?
K: No, a guy that does poor work did it.
OGLFW: someone has to pay for the damage to my bathroom ceiling.
K: Call my land lord
OGLFW: The whole building is leaking and people can't sleep at night. When you shower my ceiling leaks. Did you choose the person to fix the tub?
K: Ahh.. my tub is leaking because the stupid tub installer didn't attach the drain correctly.
OGLFW: Are you going to fix my bathroom?
K: Here is the landlord's number. (she looks at my topless body suspiciously).
OGLFW: Someone has to pay. What am I going to do about the leaking ceiling?
K: Here is the number, bye bye.
OGLFW: leaves grumpily.
Kevlar: ( goes to roof to clear debris from clogged drains, in the hopes it will slow the leak in his computer room)
Cause the bit fits
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Hammer drill for anyone that wants it. After years of cursing at this little black Skill drill I went to B&Q. I purchased a new drill for 999 nt$. I bought some big bits and took it home to knock holes in the walls. " Like butter", no cut fingers, broken bits or profanity. Last time I looked there was nothing under 2500nt$. Now for 3000 I could get a cordless hole knocker... but 999 and a year guarntee I can't go wrong. I don't use it daily so there is no need to go pro.
I realize that my efforts to drill big holes with a small drill ruined the chuck. The new one has a bigger chuck (not keyless). It performs as it should, and the price can't be beat for a drill with all the basic features.
Saturday, June 2
What?
K: I need a vacation.
R: Well you got "FIRED" so why don't you just take one.
K: I didn't get fired "exactly" My yearly contract was not renewed.. my department was downsized and my position was eliminated. I stepped on the toes of a son of a banker
R: That is such bullshit, you worked so hard.
K: I try to make classes interesting for everyone.
R: Don't work harder work smarter. Get a better schedule. Make friends with the students.
K: Some students just don't respond to honey or sour grapes... well not in a productive way. Some kids are just way too starved for attention.
R: Make them behave.
K: Barking at students who don't care, caused more problems for me. "The customer is always right".
r: why don't you apply at Dean's school?
K: I did. But the in 30 seconds of chit chat I said " my school eliminated classes, and reduced the number of teachers. so I was leaving.
R: Why would you tell that lie?
K: I didn't want to complain that my bosses are both "nutters" who have to watch their own backs and by letting me go they can cover their asses.
K: Saw Pimp and Dean at Fuber and they looked at me funny?
R: Fuber? well they are looking at you funny because you went to their school and told their supervisor you got "fired"
K: oh fuck that! that is bullshit interpetation.
R: don't you know you are supposed to recycle the old pile of bull and feed it to future employers.
K: I can teach.
R: Yeah but you think D.I.Y. projects are fun, and you say weird things.
K: I feel stressed.
R: Why don't you just go make babies?
K: Did you loose your mind?
R: No I didn't need it to teach English so I just left it, at a beautiful lake cottage in Canada.
K: ummm
R: Well you got "FIRED" so why don't you just take one.
K: I didn't get fired "exactly" My yearly contract was not renewed.. my department was downsized and my position was eliminated. I stepped on the toes of a son of a banker
R: That is such bullshit, you worked so hard.
K: I try to make classes interesting for everyone.
R: Don't work harder work smarter. Get a better schedule. Make friends with the students.
K: Some students just don't respond to honey or sour grapes... well not in a productive way. Some kids are just way too starved for attention.
R: Make them behave.
K: Barking at students who don't care, caused more problems for me. "The customer is always right".
r: why don't you apply at Dean's school?
K: I did. But the in 30 seconds of chit chat I said " my school eliminated classes, and reduced the number of teachers. so I was leaving.
R: Why would you tell that lie?
K: I didn't want to complain that my bosses are both "nutters" who have to watch their own backs and by letting me go they can cover their asses.
K: Saw Pimp and Dean at Fuber and they looked at me funny?
R: Fuber? well they are looking at you funny because you went to their school and told their supervisor you got "fired"
K: oh fuck that! that is bullshit interpetation.
R: don't you know you are supposed to recycle the old pile of bull and feed it to future employers.
K: I can teach.
R: Yeah but you think D.I.Y. projects are fun, and you say weird things.
K: I feel stressed.
R: Why don't you just go make babies?
K: Did you loose your mind?
R: No I didn't need it to teach English so I just left it, at a beautiful lake cottage in Canada.
K: ummm
Friday, June 1
hockey night in taichung or geography pt 2
last night at fubar watching the stanley cup finals, game 2, ottawa senators at anaheim ducks...
dean: why are they called the senators? are there senators in ottawa?
rye: yeah...
kev: ummm, dean, it's only the provincial capital.
bread: i think you're wrong there kev, it's the national capital!
rye: yeah, the national, kev. jesus!
kev: oh, right.
bread: what's wrong with you?
kev: i meant to say national, it just came out wrong!
dean: that's ok , kev. i know, i know, here lemme buy you another beer...
kev: no, no, this one's good, i wouldn't want it to get jealous.
rye: we have parliament and the senate in ottawa, dean.
dean: ok, then. makes sense.
rye: remember the old washington baseball team, the senators?
dean: oh, yeah.
rye: they became the rangers? maybe?
dean: they've got a new team there now.
rye: yeah, the nationals.
bread: they suck!
dean: do they? the nats?
rye: yeah, the nats. i always thought they should have been called the monuments.
dean: yeah, but when you think about sports teams' names, they're usually something that moves, you know?
rye: yeah, i guess you're right. we're the monuments! ha! ha!
dean: we stand straight and tall. we don't move! ha!
rye: hit it to me! hit it to me!
later...
bread: hey, do you guys have scouts in canada? were you guys boy scouts?
kev raises his hand.
rye: i never made it past cub scouts.
bread: what was the highest attainable level? like we have eagle scout as the highest.
kev: umm...
rye: beaver scout! right kev?
kev: oh yeaaah! beaver scout! you had to gnaw down a tree to graduate! hee-hee-hee!
rye: i heard they made you an honorary member, brett!
bread: heh! oh canadia! go ducks! quack! quack!
dean: quack! quack!
crowd: boooo! boooooooo! yanks! go home!
bread: i am tomorrow! quack! quack!
kev: hee-hee-hee-hee-ha!
dean: why are they called the senators? are there senators in ottawa?
rye: yeah...
kev: ummm, dean, it's only the provincial capital.
bread: i think you're wrong there kev, it's the national capital!
rye: yeah, the national, kev. jesus!
kev: oh, right.
bread: what's wrong with you?
kev: i meant to say national, it just came out wrong!
dean: that's ok , kev. i know, i know, here lemme buy you another beer...
kev: no, no, this one's good, i wouldn't want it to get jealous.
rye: we have parliament and the senate in ottawa, dean.
dean: ok, then. makes sense.
rye: remember the old washington baseball team, the senators?
dean: oh, yeah.
rye: they became the rangers? maybe?
dean: they've got a new team there now.
rye: yeah, the nationals.
bread: they suck!
dean: do they? the nats?
rye: yeah, the nats. i always thought they should have been called the monuments.
dean: yeah, but when you think about sports teams' names, they're usually something that moves, you know?
rye: yeah, i guess you're right. we're the monuments! ha! ha!
dean: we stand straight and tall. we don't move! ha!
rye: hit it to me! hit it to me!
later...
bread: hey, do you guys have scouts in canada? were you guys boy scouts?
kev raises his hand.
rye: i never made it past cub scouts.
bread: what was the highest attainable level? like we have eagle scout as the highest.
kev: umm...
rye: beaver scout! right kev?
kev: oh yeaaah! beaver scout! you had to gnaw down a tree to graduate! hee-hee-hee!
rye: i heard they made you an honorary member, brett!
bread: heh! oh canadia! go ducks! quack! quack!
dean: quack! quack!
crowd: boooo! boooooooo! yanks! go home!
bread: i am tomorrow! quack! quack!
kev: hee-hee-hee-hee-ha!
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