bread, kev and rye eating thai food monday...
K: wow, that was a great story bread. maybe i'll go get a starbucks coffee later too. but i wanna talk about nunavut.
B: OK.
K: well, nunavut is big. and not many people...
B: yep.
K: but quebec is the biggest province, so how's that work? it's the biggest with the less people...not country, but a ....
B: territory. it's a territory, kev. it broke off from the northwest territories in '99...
K: but not many people live there. why did i think it was a province?
B: i don't know. but it's not.
R: it was given to the natives for autonomous rule. first time ever. they got all of it.
B: yeah. so canada had two territories before and now there are three...
K: wait, now... if nunavut's not a province, then what's that make the yukon?
B: a territory! jesus, kevin! 35 years old and you're trying to figure out canadian geography?
K: well, i just thought that if there were less people in such a big place, it had to be a country or a province, you know?
B: no. so, it's sparsely populated. that's got nothing to do with it. listen, the yukon and northwest territories have been canadian territories for a long time. in '99, the canadian government granted the inuit self rule in their own territory, called nunavut, which was carved from the northwest territories.
R: so the northwest territories aren't as big as they used to be. the eastern side is now called nunavut.
K: OK...
B: got it?
K: some of it. so where's yellowknife?
R: didn't your brother live up there?
K: yeah, he was a chainsaw chucker!
R: yellowknife is in the northwest territories. whitehorse is in the yukon. what's the capital of nunavut? brett?
B: umm, gimmmee a minute...
K: up-tuk-be-yuk-fuk! ha-ha-ha-ha...hehheh..
B: jesus, kevlar!
R: your back hair just can't quite cover up your red neck, can it?
K: nope!
B: iqaluit!
R: yeah! and before it was...
K: fisherman's bay!
R: nice try...frobisher bay! christ, brett's a yank and he knows more about than you do...
K: well,...shut up!
Tuesday, May 29
Wednesday, May 23
Tuesday, May 22
Pet pink Pig, piggy bank named Penny from Brett
The big pig went over very well with the little one. She combines her musical interests with her love of sorting things into containers. Guess I'm just saying putting coins in the pig makes it sing.
Sunday, May 20
Tuesday, May 15
Tin foil
R: Are you prepped for your interview on wednesday?
K: You mean the one at the place I have been working for almost three years?
R: No dumbass the one at work!
K: Oh.. um yeah I think I will use my "food analogy".
R: you said "Anal - gee".
K: Will you stop thinking about ass. You are so assine.
R: oh a three syllable word. woo
K: Shut up terd smoker!
R: So what are you going to say when they ask you to improve the program.
K: I'm going to talk about food
R: What?
K: They are Taiwanese, I think they wanna ask about teaching English and listen to me talk about food.
R: How is that going to work, dicktree?
K: I am gonna say school is like a buffet. Our program is great. Immagine "English conversation class" is like eating lunch. a bowl of rice is like a book. a pen is like chopsticks. some of "die hard dick (or D.H.D. variation of A.D.D" students. like to eat rice with out chopsticks i.e. with their fingers. and some students are J.A.H ( Just ain't hungry). They had pudding in Chinese class. Cake in P.E. class. Steak in Chemistry class.
R: you are weird.
K: I'm just saying when some students get t o " English converstion class" they are just not hungry! I offer ice cream and they are just too full. They got no bowl and no spoon.
R: Have you tried offering them something to drink?
K: Now yer' pulling your brain out of your ass. You get what I'm saying.
R: Yer makin' me cranky
K: Yer' always cranky cranky. I apologize for not sanding your rocking chair, splinter buttocks guy.
R: I think in your interview you should focus more on the nips and less on the ass.
K: God your racist. You marry one American, have two Canadian children and then get creepy weepy. Didn't I tell you to squeeze with your cheeks not with your fingers!
R: I like to touch my poop.
K: And you think I am the strange one?@$!%??
R: I hope you blow your interview and get fired.
K: I hope I don't so I still get a chance to listen to your stupid cold jokes.
R: If you get fired I will see you at Fubar.
K: Oh yeah I will be a stay at home dad and spend my allowance at the bar.
R: How is diarehea hereitary?
K: Ahh.. umm your wife cooks poorly for your children.
R: Nope. It runs in your jeans.
K: who needs A/C with you around.
R: You will when you get fired for comparing A.D.D. children to bad apples.
K: I heard Tinfoil is not going back to be a "REAL teacher". She is going to work in the main office.
R: What ?
K: She is going to push play on the cassette player when there is a listening test.
R: What if it eats the tape?
K: Will you stop talking?
K: You mean the one at the place I have been working for almost three years?
R: No dumbass the one at work!
K: Oh.. um yeah I think I will use my "food analogy".
R: you said "Anal - gee".
K: Will you stop thinking about ass. You are so assine.
R: oh a three syllable word. woo
K: Shut up terd smoker!
R: So what are you going to say when they ask you to improve the program.
K: I'm going to talk about food
R: What?
K: They are Taiwanese, I think they wanna ask about teaching English and listen to me talk about food.
R: How is that going to work, dicktree?
K: I am gonna say school is like a buffet. Our program is great. Immagine "English conversation class" is like eating lunch. a bowl of rice is like a book. a pen is like chopsticks. some of "die hard dick (or D.H.D. variation of A.D.D" students. like to eat rice with out chopsticks i.e. with their fingers. and some students are J.A.H ( Just ain't hungry). They had pudding in Chinese class. Cake in P.E. class. Steak in Chemistry class.
R: you are weird.
K: I'm just saying when some students get t o " English converstion class" they are just not hungry! I offer ice cream and they are just too full. They got no bowl and no spoon.
R: Have you tried offering them something to drink?
K: Now yer' pulling your brain out of your ass. You get what I'm saying.
R: Yer makin' me cranky
K: Yer' always cranky cranky. I apologize for not sanding your rocking chair, splinter buttocks guy.
R: I think in your interview you should focus more on the nips and less on the ass.
K: God your racist. You marry one American, have two Canadian children and then get creepy weepy. Didn't I tell you to squeeze with your cheeks not with your fingers!
R: I like to touch my poop.
K: And you think I am the strange one?@$!%??
R: I hope you blow your interview and get fired.
K: I hope I don't so I still get a chance to listen to your stupid cold jokes.
R: If you get fired I will see you at Fubar.
K: Oh yeah I will be a stay at home dad and spend my allowance at the bar.
R: How is diarehea hereitary?
K: Ahh.. umm your wife cooks poorly for your children.
R: Nope. It runs in your jeans.
K: who needs A/C with you around.
R: You will when you get fired for comparing A.D.D. children to bad apples.
K: I heard Tinfoil is not going back to be a "REAL teacher". She is going to work in the main office.
R: What ?
K: She is going to push play on the cassette player when there is a listening test.
R: What if it eats the tape?
K: Will you stop talking?
Friday, May 11
Cranky boy
I just watched this on google and the words "lyrics" and pics "photos" are mis-matched. SHOOT@#$!
Wednesday, May 9
kevlar quote of the day
"I used sandalwood shampoo in my hair this morning. Do you think it makes my ass look big?"
jeans auction!
by the way, if you like the look of kevlar's new denim duds, he's auctioning them off to raise money for mother's day. the miaoli tradition demands the son-in-law be responsible for the mother-in-law, hence the sale of his beloved jeans to help with the cost of a generous money gift, a cake, dinner at a fancy seafood joint and varnish for her wooden leg.
bids open now!
bids open now!
Poker
Ok. so fast willy nilly Bbbread is coming around. Do you think a card game will break out? Perhaps we could all book some banquet room/ conference room... cause i just don't think j-hole is going to host.
Tuesday, May 8
'let your find taste lead you to the world of the marvelous!'
K: update, update!
R: i've never seen you so geared for a new post before.
K: well, someone's gotta post and it's not gonna be me!
R: obviously. you're lucky you are who you are and not someone else or you'd be sent packin'.
K: well it's a good thing i am 'cause if i weren't you'd have some explainin' to do.
R: i put motion before the board to change the blog's name...
K: gasp!
R: that's right. you're too cranky and conservative lately. ever since you started wearing jeans you think you can just rest on your laurels...
K: what? what's a laurel?
R: you're just not as zany as you used to be.
K: i was never zany!
R: you were way back when. i'm gonna have to fictionalize your ass!
K: oh? not my ass!
R: as you know everything that's been written on this blog to this point has been entirely true...
K: rrright...rye... and bread's a fagget.
R: no, he's gonna kick yer ass when he gets here! i'm thinking captain kevlar and the world of the marvelous! we're gonna dress you up in tights and a cape!
K: nothing too marvelous about my life.
R; how about your wife? you said she had turned over a new leaf.
K: yeah, well the leaf turning was ok for a while...
R; and?
K: she doesn't like my attitude at three in the morning and i've had the kid all day and she wants to talk about her feelings, i wanna sleep woman! ... i don't wanna talk about it. by the way rye did you get in to school 'cause i didn't!
R: i know. too bad about that outstanding rape charge... you never told me why you really came to taiwan...
K: piss off! math! i need one math credit!
R: well, i got wait listed...
K: what's that mean?
R: that means they'll tell me sometime in the next few months whether i'm in or out.
K: geez...
R: in the meantime, i'm interviewing for my job for the 5th time in 5 years on monday...
K: good ol' wei dao...
R: yep. but grace is leaving..
K: yeah... that'll be weird... who's gonna replace her?
R: no idea...
K: have you told brett about the fish tank?
R: no. i'll tell him when he gets here.
K: tell the truth now.
R: i will and you'll back me up.
K: i'll stay out of it that's what i'll do!
R: after all it's kinda your fault.
K: not!
R: and he needs wheels when he's here. i offered him the honda hog but i don't know if i'll be able to bet in running in time... he may need to borrow your scooter...
K: no problem! i'll put cranberries in the gas tank!
R: excellent!
K: how's your fantasy team?
R: argh! still in imaginary last place. if i shut my eyes real tight i can almost visualize success... que sera sera. i'm not getting fake stressed about it anymore. i just don't know how long i should hang on to frank thomas.
K: cut 'em! send him camping. camping!
R: yeah, maybe... bread offered me a trade but i didn't take it. i think he was pretty pissed about it too...
K: oh, how do you know?
R: called me a loser and swore several times. oh yeah and he called me a commie fagget.
K: that's normal. do you think lawyer boy is any more sensitive to people's feelings now? 'cause i'm feeling a little fragile these days...
R: well buck up! get ready! pack the wife off to beijing for a week! she needs a vacation anyway...
K: maybe i will! that'd be marvelous!
R: ok i gotta end this thing...
K: well no one stopping you...
R: how 'bout a video this week mr topless tease?
K: you got it!
R: i've never seen you so geared for a new post before.
K: well, someone's gotta post and it's not gonna be me!
R: obviously. you're lucky you are who you are and not someone else or you'd be sent packin'.
K: well it's a good thing i am 'cause if i weren't you'd have some explainin' to do.
R: i put motion before the board to change the blog's name...
K: gasp!
R: that's right. you're too cranky and conservative lately. ever since you started wearing jeans you think you can just rest on your laurels...
K: what? what's a laurel?
R: you're just not as zany as you used to be.
K: i was never zany!
R: you were way back when. i'm gonna have to fictionalize your ass!
K: oh? not my ass!
R: as you know everything that's been written on this blog to this point has been entirely true...
K: rrright...rye... and bread's a fagget.
R: no, he's gonna kick yer ass when he gets here! i'm thinking captain kevlar and the world of the marvelous! we're gonna dress you up in tights and a cape!
K: nothing too marvelous about my life.
R; how about your wife? you said she had turned over a new leaf.
K: yeah, well the leaf turning was ok for a while...
R; and?
K: she doesn't like my attitude at three in the morning and i've had the kid all day and she wants to talk about her feelings, i wanna sleep woman! ... i don't wanna talk about it. by the way rye did you get in to school 'cause i didn't!
R: i know. too bad about that outstanding rape charge... you never told me why you really came to taiwan...
K: piss off! math! i need one math credit!
R: well, i got wait listed...
K: what's that mean?
R: that means they'll tell me sometime in the next few months whether i'm in or out.
K: geez...
R: in the meantime, i'm interviewing for my job for the 5th time in 5 years on monday...
K: good ol' wei dao...
R: yep. but grace is leaving..
K: yeah... that'll be weird... who's gonna replace her?
R: no idea...
K: have you told brett about the fish tank?
R: no. i'll tell him when he gets here.
K: tell the truth now.
R: i will and you'll back me up.
K: i'll stay out of it that's what i'll do!
R: after all it's kinda your fault.
K: not!
R: and he needs wheels when he's here. i offered him the honda hog but i don't know if i'll be able to bet in running in time... he may need to borrow your scooter...
K: no problem! i'll put cranberries in the gas tank!
R: excellent!
K: how's your fantasy team?
R: argh! still in imaginary last place. if i shut my eyes real tight i can almost visualize success... que sera sera. i'm not getting fake stressed about it anymore. i just don't know how long i should hang on to frank thomas.
K: cut 'em! send him camping. camping!
R: yeah, maybe... bread offered me a trade but i didn't take it. i think he was pretty pissed about it too...
K: oh, how do you know?
R: called me a loser and swore several times. oh yeah and he called me a commie fagget.
K: that's normal. do you think lawyer boy is any more sensitive to people's feelings now? 'cause i'm feeling a little fragile these days...
R: well buck up! get ready! pack the wife off to beijing for a week! she needs a vacation anyway...
K: maybe i will! that'd be marvelous!
R: ok i gotta end this thing...
K: well no one stopping you...
R: how 'bout a video this week mr topless tease?
K: you got it!
Wednesday, May 2
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