alphas and betas

a recent article seems to me to add some insight into kevlar's former relationship with long departed friend and ally bread - Male Birds Use 'Wingman' to Win Girl
the article talks about the benefits of having two males approach a female, an alpha, or dominant male, and a beta, or secondary or apprentice male. it is imperative that the alpha male choose a wingman, his beta, who, while attractive, is necessarily less so than the alpha. less brilliant coloring, though not faded, duller mental faculties, but not a retard, smaller appendages, though not overly tiny, etc. therefore, the female, according to darwinian principles, will almost always most certainly choose the stronger and more intelligent of the two. the desired outcome of course being mating, the passing on of the alpha's genes to the next generation. so why does the wingman, or beta bird, participate in said courting activities if there's nothing in it for him? while the alpha is enjoying the fruits of a shared labor, the beta bird flies home solo, to no apparent advantage. the case study presented in the article followed some panamanian birds over some years and it discovered that the alpha bird was almost always older than the beta bird, and that most beta birds eventually became alpha birds suggesting a kind of apprenticeship between older and younger birds. so what's in it for the beta bird? experience, an ancient and sacred knowledge of how to score chicks, suck feathers, fertilize eggs...

kevlar often speaks of the days when bread still lived here in central city and the two of them would be in a bar and kevlar would be chatting up this fine chick and bread would swoop in with a comment like, "hey sweetie, did you know that this guy has the best and thickest mat of back hair in town?" kevlar, shamed, would fall apart immediately while bread took over the wooing and eventually mounted the female, often with kevlar in the next room, as, well you know, they were living together at the time. kevlar, and most people, would call this cock-blocking but my theory is that bread was more devious and manipulative than anyone had previously imagined. yes, he cock-blocked. but no woman had ever seriously considered going home with beta bird kevlar with alpha bread around anyway... and bread knew this. kevlar was bread's wingman for 3 years and didn't even realize it. even when bread used to say, "let's go get you laid kev..." he was really just setting himself up to expose the female to the beta and then dive bomb the conversation with his alpha charm...

now, there are some discrepancies with this analogy... kev is older. but it could be argued bread was older experience-wise, being a world traveller and all that. and kev, being the beta bird, ended up successfully planting his seed, not bread the alpha bird, that we're aware of anyhow... and i think that bread flew the coop before properly educating his ward, leaving him adrift and rudderless...

i don't know now i gotta go teach esl... damn brett and his cursed mysteriousness!