kevlar vs. the beer baaron, part II

meanwhile in the recesses of the red manor, deep in the keep, the general is contemplating his new blog by the great fire place. lost in thought and grinning, he rocks back and forth in his chair, hands placed neatly between his thighs, slowly rubbing them together, back and forth, back and forth.

"serving wench! where’s my beverage? how can i plan my conquests without a cold beer! fetch it quickly and it had better not be mead this time or you'll feel my steel!" , the rubbing quickens, the friction producing faint trails of smoke escaping from the palms, the grin widens.

smelling burning flesh, she replies, "as you wish, excellency." and scurries off in haste knowing his temper to be as short and fierce as his neck beard is long and scraggly.

the lady of the manor enters, she has overheard the exchange. "must you treat the help with such disdain, my lord?" she asks.

"what? what of it? she is my serving wench and she'll do as she's told," he gruffs as he continues to pour over his daily intelligence.

“of course she will and so she should, your redness.”

"and when she returns, she'll fetch more as my captains are on their way to debrief me. i can't have my men thirsty now, can i?"

"of course not, my lord. your captains would stand in open rebellion against you if that were the case”, she says playfully...”luckily you have an endless supply tucked away”, his lady smiles, "do tread carefully with your servants though."

“what? with the servants? why?”, sensing something amiss, he added, "i don't know why you feel such compassion for the servants of late, the woman i married would never have worried about offending servants. after all she's only a canadianer! you’ve grown weak!”

"my lord, it is not that i feel compassion for the servants, as you say, but i am terribly worried about their loyalty to you. you are a fair, yes, but hard master and i have just returned from the fortune teller with grave tidings…”

“fortune tellers! tidings! don’t waste my time with such claptrap woman!”

“i insist for the prosperity of the house!”

“very well then, speak your piece wife.”

“i fear they will betray you in the end.” she finishes and hangs her head as if expecting a blow.

“betray me! ha! do you know why there are so many canadianers in taiwan? do you?”

“no, your grace.”

“then I shall tell you!”

“please do as I’ve not left the compound in many moons”, she states.

“canadianers have three options in life. the first is to stay at home in canada and be canadianer – that is to say poor… the second is to go the united states and become servants and the third, the third is come to taiwan to teach english…”

“nevertheless, my soothsayer warns of an uprising, however unlikely...”

“ an uprising! be still your superstitious tongue! i’ll not have you infecting them with such a thing as hope for a better life! i have just completed a deal that will insure my stranglehold on the buxiban guild… i have an inside man you see… but you needn’t worry your pretty little head about such trifles… prepare the marriage chamber for an early night, my men shan’t be here long… ”

“very well, it is my duty as your wife to warn you of such matters. i will leave you then….”

“halt! you will leave when dismissed woman!”

“yes, your redness.”

“you may go.”

the lady exits only to return a moment later to announce the arrival of the red commanders.

“your men are here, lord.”

“excellent.” he rubs his palms together in excitement. wisps of smoke trail toward the ceiling. “show them in then! and where’s that serving wench with my beer? we cannot debrief without beer!”

“i’ll check immediately husband”, she says and disappears into the corridor.

he stands to greet his men.

“ahhh, my nobles! come, sit, drink! together let us put into motion the plan for the final destruction of the wicked canadianers! where’s that serving wench?!? i’ll brand her ass for such insubordination!”

“greetings aaroneus!”, they shout in unison.