R: Hey D-Wayne, can I get a rum and coke?
D: Sure. You want a tall glass or a short glass?
R: Tall. Your coke isn't flat is it?
D: No. No. I check 'em all to make sure now.
Enter Kevlar...
K: You know what Brit Paul just told me?
R: No, what?
K: He got so drunk Friday night that he went home to the wrong apartment building.
R: That's pretty drunk.
K: Yeah. It was the one he lived in last year... hey what are you drinkin'?
R: Rum and coke.
K: MMM... I want one of those... Hey Dwayne! Can I have what he's having?
D: Sure. You want a tall glass or a short glass?
K: Tall.
R: Nice choice.
K: Well, I can't let you have all the fun... I'm a couple beers in... mmmm... that's good...
Next day...
rye got up with a fuzzy brain after 2 tall kirins, 3 tall rum and cokes and countless inhalation... went to work for 8 AM... still fuzzy... and thirsty, damn thirsty, not hungry, well he did eat some granola and shu bing, damn the shu bing. Dammit when did rye become such a lightweight?
11 AM... enter Kevlar at school...
K: How much rum is in one of those?
R: A lot I think. At least half rum. I'm a little fuzzy today...
K: Yeah. I had a few and Dean bought me a beer and then I thought I'd have another so I did and then Brit Paul bought me a beer... by 9 I was just silly...
R: Some good though eh?
K: Oh yeah the nostalgia drinks you drinkin the nostalgia drinks I thought I had to have one, then more... yeah... some good...
R: I hit the hay early.
K: I was hung over before I went to bed. thank god Kaia slept through last night 'cause I was too sloppy to do anything like that...
R: I wonder how Red A's doing.
K: Whatever he's doin' I'm sure he's doin' it his way and I'm sure it's done by now!
Monday, October 30
Sunday, October 29
Wednesday, October 25
some pics of the kids
DV bought a cell phone with that new fangled camera feature...
quite handy... here are some pics of Kaia and Ivo. Ivo loves it when she and Kevlar come over... Kevlar is Kaia-baba
quite handy... here are some pics of Kaia and Ivo. Ivo loves it when she and Kevlar come over... Kevlar is Kaia-baba
Tuesday, October 24
Facts about Kevlar
-is owned by DuPont Company
-was invented by a woman, Stephanie Kwolwek, in the 60's
-was first sold in the 70's
-is an aramid! that means fire resisitant and strong as fuck!
-better strength to weight ratio than steel, 5 times greater motherhumper!
-"is spun like a spider spins a web"
- used in everything from bicycles to bulletproof jackets
- does not rust or corrode but is weakened by water
-there are 3, count 'em 3 grades of Kevlar! Kevlar, Kevlar 29 and Kevlar 49!
-Kevlar 29 will stop bullets, K49 will reinforce the hull of your boat
-decomposes under alkaline conditions, keep away from chlorine, swimming pool conditions
- is expensive as all fuck and forged under the harshest of conditions...
-we got kevlar!
*notes cribbed from wiki
-was invented by a woman, Stephanie Kwolwek, in the 60's
-was first sold in the 70's
-is an aramid! that means fire resisitant and strong as fuck!
-better strength to weight ratio than steel, 5 times greater motherhumper!
-"is spun like a spider spins a web"
- used in everything from bicycles to bulletproof jackets
- does not rust or corrode but is weakened by water
-there are 3, count 'em 3 grades of Kevlar! Kevlar, Kevlar 29 and Kevlar 49!
-Kevlar 29 will stop bullets, K49 will reinforce the hull of your boat
-decomposes under alkaline conditions, keep away from chlorine, swimming pool conditions
- is expensive as all fuck and forged under the harshest of conditions...
-we got kevlar!
*notes cribbed from wiki
Thanks for the invite
Thought I would get a pic of you up here.
You like pink, and t-shirts that say menopause.
Sunday, October 22
Saturday, October 21
negociations going well
we are thrilled to have access to this little jewel...
rare footage from the archives... kevlar klaymations presents kenny the killer
rare footage from the archives... kevlar klaymations presents kenny the killer
Announcing a possible coup in cognitive consumption...
... Kevlar signal getting stronger, link stabilizing, possible permanent personality plug-in almost a done deal... contract conference to be concluded over kirins...
Thursday, October 19
Wednesday, October 18
Effin' Phones!
We'd like to direct everyone to the comments section of the previous post where we received a phone-in comment from Kevlar about his "gay phone". Evidently phoned in on his land line, the K-man has been dealing with damaged goods weeks upon weeks now.
Only "the wife" seems to be able to get through to him these days, much to his chagrin...
Everything reported in the comment box is absolutely true but there was also a prelude to that conversation...
CPG: Did you drop it?
K: No.
CPG: Did you wash it?
K: No!
CPG: Did you burn it?
K: No! I didn't burn it!
CPG: Do you wear around your neck, hugging your hairy, sweaty torso everyday?
K: Next question!!!
CPG: Because your fur water may infect the phone...
K: What else!
CPG: Did you fuck it?
K: What?
CPG: Did you fuck it? You know, stick your penis in it? Did you do that?
K:
CPG: All I'm saying is that it looks like it's been fucked. That's all.
Friday, October 13
Trailer Park Boys Movie trailer
released last week... DV's jumpin' out of hes shorts.
Here's a classic intro to the TV show... Bubbles vs. the Bible PIMP...
Here's a classic intro to the TV show... Bubbles vs. the Bible PIMP...
Sunday, October 8
Lately Kevlar's been all about the Youtube. Lonely Girl's a fake! Did you hear that? Lonely Girl's a fake! Yeah! They found it out! She's an actress from the UK who was hired by a production company! Youtubers thought it looked way too slick! Flamethrowers they got flamed and some people are really upset! OHH she''s gettin slammed. I like Lazy Dork. He's funny. How do we get thousands of hits on our vids like those other people? Easy... just tag your video Lonely Girl or Lazy Dork! But you'll get slammed for sure!
Thursday, October 5
Friday, September 29
Thursday, September 28
Another Kevlar Exclusive
R: That was a pretty cool video you put up on Ni Howdy yesterday, Kevlar.
K: Yeah, thanks. I watched it, like, 20 times last night and on every break at work yesterday!
R: It's definitely worth multiple views. Lotsa subtlties there a viewer may miss during the first or even second watch.
K: I like it. I think it's funny.
R: And what inspired you to sing this song?
K: I was teaching class the other day and Jan-Jan, our secretary, came to my door and said that she was in the office instant messenging with Bread...
R: And?
K: She says to me, "Bread says you should blow me."
R: Har! He's such a dick.
K: Yes, yes he is. Anyway, so then she asked me in her sweet little innocent Jan-Jan way, "What's that mean?"
R: He probably meant for her to say that you should blow him...
K: Well, yeah... but that's not what she said...
R: Did you tell her?
K: Well yeah... Anyway I got to thinking about Bread and how annoying he can be even when he's not here in Taiwan...
R: Yeah, he can get girls to do anything...
K: Yesss!! So remember that list of Bread-isms you wrote last year?
R: Yeah...
K: well, I thought BLOW ME should be added to the list. 'Cause he says that a lot...
R: Yes, yes he does...
K: So I thought how can I annoy Bread like he annoys me... I know! I'll sing one of his favorite songs but change the words into Bread-isms!
R: So you did.
K: No! I didn't! I made a whole new song! I was gonna do a Dylan song but it was too hard and I have a kid and a job and I just don't have that kinda time, you know?
R: I know.
K: So I had the idea and i did it. There. I think it's funny.
R: It's hilarious. Mail's been coming in from viewers saying they liked your guitar playing style but they had trouble understanding the lyrics...
K: We edited it yesterday. Linked to the lyrics in case anyone wants to sing along...
R: Cool.. You know I had to watch it 3 times before I figured out what the first verse was about?
K: Ha! Heh! And you wrote the f**kin thing!
R: Yeah. What's up with that?
K: That's funny.
R: So do you think you succeeded in annoying Bread?
K: Maybe. probably not. But I Hope So!
R: You sing so well with a cig in yer mouth.
K: Well...
R: Where can fans download this song?
K: Um.. I'll let you know... I might re-record it..
R: During pre-production of the song there was talk of you possibly playing TOPLESS.
Any truth to those rumours?
K: LIES!! All LIES!!!
R: wWhat's next in the world of Kevlar?
K: HYDRO-FOILS.. Fuck they're cool... Alexander Graham Bell invented 'em... rode on the Bras d'Or lake don't ya know... I saw a video about'em on youtube...
R: Teacher's day dinner tonight...
K: Oh yeah... electronic prizes!!
R All right then.. We gotta go...
K: Fine..
R: I see you're wearing your SPACE PANTS today...
K: SPACE PANTS? What are you talking about?
R: Your SPACE PANTS..
K: Why are they SPACE PANTS?
R: 'Cause your ASS is out of this world!!!!
K: Good then...
K: Yeah, thanks. I watched it, like, 20 times last night and on every break at work yesterday!
R: It's definitely worth multiple views. Lotsa subtlties there a viewer may miss during the first or even second watch.
K: I like it. I think it's funny.
R: And what inspired you to sing this song?
K: I was teaching class the other day and Jan-Jan, our secretary, came to my door and said that she was in the office instant messenging with Bread...
R: And?
K: She says to me, "Bread says you should blow me."
R: Har! He's such a dick.
K: Yes, yes he is. Anyway, so then she asked me in her sweet little innocent Jan-Jan way, "What's that mean?"
R: He probably meant for her to say that you should blow him...
K: Well, yeah... but that's not what she said...
R: Did you tell her?
K: Well yeah... Anyway I got to thinking about Bread and how annoying he can be even when he's not here in Taiwan...
R: Yeah, he can get girls to do anything...
K: Yesss!! So remember that list of Bread-isms you wrote last year?
R: Yeah...
K: well, I thought BLOW ME should be added to the list. 'Cause he says that a lot...
R: Yes, yes he does...
K: So I thought how can I annoy Bread like he annoys me... I know! I'll sing one of his favorite songs but change the words into Bread-isms!
R: So you did.
K: No! I didn't! I made a whole new song! I was gonna do a Dylan song but it was too hard and I have a kid and a job and I just don't have that kinda time, you know?
R: I know.
K: So I had the idea and i did it. There. I think it's funny.
R: It's hilarious. Mail's been coming in from viewers saying they liked your guitar playing style but they had trouble understanding the lyrics...
K: We edited it yesterday. Linked to the lyrics in case anyone wants to sing along...
R: Cool.. You know I had to watch it 3 times before I figured out what the first verse was about?
K: Ha! Heh! And you wrote the f**kin thing!
R: Yeah. What's up with that?
K: That's funny.
R: So do you think you succeeded in annoying Bread?
K: Maybe. probably not. But I Hope So!
R: You sing so well with a cig in yer mouth.
K: Well...
R: Where can fans download this song?
K: Um.. I'll let you know... I might re-record it..
R: During pre-production of the song there was talk of you possibly playing TOPLESS.
Any truth to those rumours?
K: LIES!! All LIES!!!
R: wWhat's next in the world of Kevlar?
K: HYDRO-FOILS.. Fuck they're cool... Alexander Graham Bell invented 'em... rode on the Bras d'Or lake don't ya know... I saw a video about'em on youtube...
R: Teacher's day dinner tonight...
K: Oh yeah... electronic prizes!!
R All right then.. We gotta go...
K: Fine..
R: I see you're wearing your SPACE PANTS today...
K: SPACE PANTS? What are you talking about?
R: Your SPACE PANTS..
K: Why are they SPACE PANTS?
R: 'Cause your ASS is out of this world!!!!
K: Good then...
Monday, September 25
Sunday, September 24
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