Former Smoker Sighting

There was a Kevlar sighting at 6:07 pm Monday evening near the Xiang Shang market area. Witnesses reported seeing a hairy ape shaped java man not smoking and carrying some squirmy offspring. He seemed for foraging for bian dangs and beer.

R: I can't believe you quit smoking.

K: It seemed like a good idea at the time.

R: No one believes it.

K: Who's no one?

R: Everyone. It's gotta be bullshit.

K: It's hard. I need a new drug.

R: Need or want?

K: Want. Need. Take your pick.

R: One that won't make you sick?

K: Right. I like beer.

R: One that won't hurt your head?

K: Okaaay... I like beer.

R: Too bad sex isn't a drug, eh? You could get some of that.

K: Beer's more likely.

R: So you're just not smoking in class now, right?

K: Nowhere.

R: But smoking defined you, man. It's like John quitting drinking.

K: Not so. More like Aaron quitting war games. Heee...

R: Or planning for world domination. What are we supposed to call the blog now?

K: It's still smoking.

R: The blog?

K: Yep. I can smell it. It stinks now.

R: Speaking of stinking. My fantasy team sucks. Thanks for asking.

K: You play Bread yet?

R: Yep. Beat him but lost hard last week.

K: Bad?

R: Real bad. Got Pimp this week.

K: Gee, if he beats you than I guess that makes you a dirty whore.

R: Want a cigarette?

K: No.

R: You sure? They're yummy.

K: I don't smoke brown ones.

R: Racist.

K: I don't smoke the white ones either.

R: You should get into bin lang.

K: As my new drug?

R: Yeah. And open a glass box shop. Your in-laws are in the biz right?

K: Were. Are. Maybe.

R: Anne could sell bin lang. You could have a new drug and red teeth.

K: Don't you have somewhere to be?

I left after that cause yeah I did have somewhere I needed to be. I was hoping our readers could help find Kevlar a new drug. Beer and coffee are ineligible cause he's already addicted to them. Give it some thought and post a suggestion in the comment box or I'll put up a poll or something...