This kid kinda slept/daydreamed his way through the first semester but has lately taken more of an interest. Or not. This is called Mystery. (Pretty creative titling, no?)
It's a special place! There's nothing. Stepping on to here, all come to a full stop. Everything is nonsense. Time? No. I don't know when I wake up. I just can't see little by little. My thought turn slow, more slow, then still. My soul seems to disappear. There is not any mood that stay here. Then I fall asleep. Maybe it's just a dream. But it has shown up in my life for a long time. It disturbs my learning. No one can help me.
Monday, March 31
Cricket
I went out to watch some matches on Saturday. I was surprised how much a cricket bat is a cross between a ping pong paddle and a tennis racquet. The ball is about the size of a hardball but it is covered with spongy rubber and has slits cut in it.
There was lots of beer, teams from all over the island and few spectators.
The event was on Xiang Xang behind the post office, I went to support my co-workers in the tournament and I learned everything I ever wanted to know about cricket.
Sunday, March 30
Poker with Ponce
I got a phone call at 6:31 "Hi Kevin, Are you going to
play..." Confidently I respond something about small
children going to sleep and I will get there, if these
things come together.
With a bag full of beer and soft drinks I pitch at 7:15.
To the left I see Karl and to my other left there is Dave,
who refers to me as Ry and asks me where is his
poker table? I had to remind him, he missed the boat
that was years ago and he and I have had this
conversation more than once...
So Karl and Dave break out the one player x-box
Grand theft auto Miami Vice German edition. I had a
smirnoff ice and put my feet up, and started to drift off.
Concerned the game didn't make sense Karl kept the
barge of questions steady. One that caught me "How do
you get blowjobs from street hookers?" Too which Dave
was quick to say you take them in the car and you fuck'em
and the car moves.
Sex in a video game is 14 year-old male nonsense. Karl
has been bumping his head on the low beams.
Sam arrives about 8, then Brett at 8:30, Jeff 8:45. = six
Slow loud really smoky. Max bet 30 unless stated otherwise
makes it really hard to catch up, or push anyone out. I hate
Kings and Little ones. I do not want to play 31 in a box with
a fox, with a spoon or a fork, not with a dork or a noob.
I lost 1400 and after one phone call left at 2:00, went home
and had drunk sex, well I was drunk.
This morning I am coughing like I have a cold. I recently
met some non smokers, then I read Allen Carr's free online
pdf book Scandal. It struck a bell and I have been smoke
free just over two weeks.
1. Constant cough 2. improved sense of smell and taste
3. bleeding gums 4.tired/ tiredness 5. my hands don't stink
Poker may not have been any fun but at least the clouds
didn't tempt me to smoke at all. I am really surprised to
re-learn what cigarettes actually smell like. As Sandy once
said "Well Kevin, I wasn't planning on being a smoker my
whole life." i think i have wasted too much time.
Or drinking more beer without cigarettes is a new
kinda high, that leads to a grumpy morning hangover.
play..." Confidently I respond something about small
children going to sleep and I will get there, if these
things come together.
With a bag full of beer and soft drinks I pitch at 7:15.
To the left I see Karl and to my other left there is Dave,
who refers to me as Ry and asks me where is his
poker table? I had to remind him, he missed the boat
that was years ago and he and I have had this
conversation more than once...
So Karl and Dave break out the one player x-box
Grand theft auto Miami Vice German edition. I had a
smirnoff ice and put my feet up, and started to drift off.
Concerned the game didn't make sense Karl kept the
barge of questions steady. One that caught me "How do
you get blowjobs from street hookers?" Too which Dave
was quick to say you take them in the car and you fuck'em
and the car moves.
Sex in a video game is 14 year-old male nonsense. Karl
has been bumping his head on the low beams.
Sam arrives about 8, then Brett at 8:30, Jeff 8:45. = six
Slow loud really smoky. Max bet 30 unless stated otherwise
makes it really hard to catch up, or push anyone out. I hate
Kings and Little ones. I do not want to play 31 in a box with
a fox, with a spoon or a fork, not with a dork or a noob.
I lost 1400 and after one phone call left at 2:00, went home
and had drunk sex, well I was drunk.
This morning I am coughing like I have a cold. I recently
met some non smokers, then I read Allen Carr's free online
pdf book Scandal. It struck a bell and I have been smoke
free just over two weeks.
1. Constant cough 2. improved sense of smell and taste
3. bleeding gums 4.tired/ tiredness 5. my hands don't stink
Poker may not have been any fun but at least the clouds
didn't tempt me to smoke at all. I am really surprised to
re-learn what cigarettes actually smell like. As Sandy once
said "Well Kevin, I wasn't planning on being a smoker my
whole life." i think i have wasted too much time.
Or drinking more beer without cigarettes is a new
kinda high, that leads to a grumpy morning hangover.
Thursday, March 27
Disaster
My classmate Leo is a male prostitute. He always does work after school. He met a man in front of a park which is next to his house. He had to do something with the man because he needed much money for his life. After the work he was happy and he made the man happy, too. I think he has to work hard for his age. I hope him careful if he does this work. He is the friend who I don't want to lose.
Wednesday, March 26
Student Stories
Last week I had some Senior High students prepare some stories for me for presentation. I'm gonna publish some of them here not cause they're amazing or anything, just cause they're, well, odd and they kinda cracked me up. They had to base their stories around one of five events - a disaster, an emergency, a lucky break, a triumph or a mystery.
This one's titled Bathroom Mystery:
One day at midnight when I sleep in my bed, I feel stomachache then I wake up and go to the bathroom. When I open the door suddenly something strange happened. I saw a man making the cake in my bathroom. Wow that was so cool and the the man say "Hello" to me and ask me "Do you want to eat" then I say "Yes" then we eat together. That was a good day.
This one's titled Bathroom Mystery:
One day at midnight when I sleep in my bed, I feel stomachache then I wake up and go to the bathroom. When I open the door suddenly something strange happened. I saw a man making the cake in my bathroom. Wow that was so cool and the the man say "Hello" to me and ask me "Do you want to eat" then I say "Yes" then we eat together. That was a good day.
Estimating Events Occuring in that Fashion
Despite what Kevlar says in comment boxes around the blogoworld, everything written on this blog is absolutely true, no exaggeration.
It's tough manifesto to uphold but we do our best.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In other news -
The other day I picked up Jack Cust for the Japan series vs. the Red Sox and he rewarded my savvy by earning the Golden Sombrero, going 0 for 4 with 4 strikeouts.
Damn.
It's like Cowboy Jack Clement said, I Don't Like It But I Guess Things Happen that Way
It's tough manifesto to uphold but we do our best.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In other news -
The other day I picked up Jack Cust for the Japan series vs. the Red Sox and he rewarded my savvy by earning the Golden Sombrero, going 0 for 4 with 4 strikeouts.
Damn.
It's like Cowboy Jack Clement said, I Don't Like It But I Guess Things Happen that Way
Monday, March 24
Saturday, March 22
Updates
Just finished Big Ell's live fantasy draft. Not sure bout my team. Feel kinda dirty. Action starts on the 24th vs. the Asstros. Went 3-0 against them last year and hope to continue my dominance this year.
Haven't blogged much this month. Don't know what it is. Probably the imminent onset of the baseball season combined with preliminary preparations for going home, for good. Lot of shit to get done. And the kids, of course. The kids are a handful too.
I asked Kevlar why he wasn't blogging lately either and he said this,
"How can I blog when there's so much porn to watch on the internet?"
Indeed, Kevlar, indeed.
I even tracked down a great How-To Video site for him to explore called Video Jug I thought he'd be way into that but when he searched How To Get Your Wife To Be Nice To You it came up empty and and he went back to surfing porn.
There was some initial excitement on his part that turned out to be just a misunderstanding,
Me: Did you check out that site?
Kev: Video jugs! That was just a video. I bookmarked it though.
Me: You mean Video Jug, not Jugs.
Kev: Hunh? No Video Jugs! They were huge! Maybe to big though.
Jebus Kevlar!
In other news our friend Deano got married a couple of weeks ago. Kev and I knew it was really true when he started talking about all the hotties he saw on the MRT in Taipei.
I don't know about sniffin' undies but Dean sure drinks his beer like it's ox-y-gen.
Here's John Prine and Iris Dement doing In Spite of Ourselves
Haven't blogged much this month. Don't know what it is. Probably the imminent onset of the baseball season combined with preliminary preparations for going home, for good. Lot of shit to get done. And the kids, of course. The kids are a handful too.
I asked Kevlar why he wasn't blogging lately either and he said this,
"How can I blog when there's so much porn to watch on the internet?"
Indeed, Kevlar, indeed.
I even tracked down a great How-To Video site for him to explore called Video Jug I thought he'd be way into that but when he searched How To Get Your Wife To Be Nice To You it came up empty and and he went back to surfing porn.
There was some initial excitement on his part that turned out to be just a misunderstanding,
Me: Did you check out that site?
Kev: Video jugs! That was just a video. I bookmarked it though.
Me: You mean Video Jug, not Jugs.
Kev: Hunh? No Video Jugs! They were huge! Maybe to big though.
Jebus Kevlar!
In other news our friend Deano got married a couple of weeks ago. Kev and I knew it was really true when he started talking about all the hotties he saw on the MRT in Taipei.
I don't know about sniffin' undies but Dean sure drinks his beer like it's ox-y-gen.
Here's John Prine and Iris Dement doing In Spite of Ourselves
Sunday, March 16
Sour Grapes
This past week I heard comments or had conversations with some students about Canada's victory over Taiwan last Monday night in Taichung.
Background - in the 8th both benches cleared after a Canadian baserunner bowled over the Taiwanese catcher in a not so close play at the plate. He was called out and Taiwan took a 5-4 lead into the 9th. It was a legitimate hit and well within the rules of baseball though a lot of Taiwanese I've spoken to about it have been horrified at the sudden and brutal violence of the collision. And the Taiwanese media has had a field day sensationalizing the supposed "unfair" play of the Canadian squad, especially after they blew the lead with 2 out in the 9th.
"Canada very bad." - said Fat Phil, 11th grade
"Canada is very rude." - said Lascivious Darren, 7th grade
-----------------------------------------------------------------
And then this conversation with an 11th grader about Canada's style of play:
Student: They (Canada) have small hits too much.
Me: You mean bunts?
Student: Yeah. Bunts.
Me: So?
Student: That's not good baseball. You supposed to hit the ball.
Me: It's called 'small ball'. It's tried and true strategy.
Student: It's wrong.
Me: Why? It's not against the rules.
Student: Yeah, but it's bad baseball.
----------------------------------------------------------------
And then another student, also grade 11, definitely in denial:
Student: Canada can't beat Chinese Taipei.
Me: But they did.
Student: But they can't.
Me: But they did. It happened. Taiwan blew it in the 9th. You had a one run lead with 2 out and nobody on in the 9th.
Student: Yes. They can't win.
Me: Who?
Student: Canada.
Me: Are you trying to say that Chinese Taipei is a better team than Canada?
Student: Yes.
Me: So why did they lose?
Student: They can't. Canada so bad.
Me: Canada won. Taiwan lost. On this day Canada was the better team.
Student: No.
Me: (sigh)
And on and on in this fashion til we had to go to class...
Sour grapes, that's what I says, sour grapes...
Background - in the 8th both benches cleared after a Canadian baserunner bowled over the Taiwanese catcher in a not so close play at the plate. He was called out and Taiwan took a 5-4 lead into the 9th. It was a legitimate hit and well within the rules of baseball though a lot of Taiwanese I've spoken to about it have been horrified at the sudden and brutal violence of the collision. And the Taiwanese media has had a field day sensationalizing the supposed "unfair" play of the Canadian squad, especially after they blew the lead with 2 out in the 9th.
"Canada very bad." - said Fat Phil, 11th grade
"Canada is very rude." - said Lascivious Darren, 7th grade
-----------------------------------------------------------------
And then this conversation with an 11th grader about Canada's style of play:
Student: They (Canada) have small hits too much.
Me: You mean bunts?
Student: Yeah. Bunts.
Me: So?
Student: That's not good baseball. You supposed to hit the ball.
Me: It's called 'small ball'. It's tried and true strategy.
Student: It's wrong.
Me: Why? It's not against the rules.
Student: Yeah, but it's bad baseball.
----------------------------------------------------------------
And then another student, also grade 11, definitely in denial:
Student: Canada can't beat Chinese Taipei.
Me: But they did.
Student: But they can't.
Me: But they did. It happened. Taiwan blew it in the 9th. You had a one run lead with 2 out and nobody on in the 9th.
Student: Yes. They can't win.
Me: Who?
Student: Canada.
Me: Are you trying to say that Chinese Taipei is a better team than Canada?
Student: Yes.
Me: So why did they lose?
Student: They can't. Canada so bad.
Me: Canada won. Taiwan lost. On this day Canada was the better team.
Student: No.
Me: (sigh)
And on and on in this fashion til we had to go to class...
Sour grapes, that's what I says, sour grapes...
Thursday, March 13
Tuesday, March 4
228
We celebrated Burl's 1st birthday on 228 by going to the Carrefour on Wen Xin and letting the boys run around like mad in the play space in the basement. Little Burly was exhausted and fell asleep shortly thereafter while the rest of us turned our attention to getting fed. Instead of the golden arches we opted for the Ponderosa inside the Carrefour. The food was mediocre, as expected, but hey they got the all you can eat buffet. At least we wouldn't be walking away hungry. Ivo at some point expressed interest in the watermelon so I brought back a few slices along with some guava and pineapple. He and Sandy shared while Burl snoozed and I stuffed myself with luke warm curry rice and lemon chicken. We finished up and ran some errands. Burly woke up and ate a waffle and some fries in the car.
Between 2 and 3 am the next morning Ivo started puking. Sandy followed suit an hour later. Had to be food poisoning. Burl and I were unaffected. Whoever chopped up the fruit maybe didn't wash their hands, I don't know. I wonder how many people got sick from that place that day. Had to be more. The vomiting went on for a solid 24 hours. It was like ancient fucking Rome. Neither of them felt like themselves til Sunday night.
So,
RESTAURANT ADVISORY: CARREFOUR PONDEROSA. AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a funnier note, while running errands we stopped at Finga's for yogurt, garlic butter etc. whatever. I waited in the car with the boys. Sandy ran in. She had this conversation with one tactless staffer.
Finga's Clerk: Oh! Hi! You're pregnant again! (big smile)
Sandy: No. No, I'm not. (smoldering begins)
FC: Oh, but I think you are! (giggling now)
Sandy: (clipped fake laugh) Hunh. No, I'm not. Pretty sure!
FC: Oh! I thought you were! (grinning)
Sandy: Bye! (suppressing rage)
Now let me just say that Sandy in no way shape or form looks pregnant. She looks amazing and has done a fantastic job losing the the pregnancy weight.
She gets back to the car and immediately recounts the above dialogue to me.
Sandy: Do I look pregnant?
Me: No, baby. You look hot.
Sandy: Then why is this person asking me if I'm pregnant?
Me: Maybe because she knows you have little kids.
Sandy: Maybe because of my awesome boobs.
Me: Maybe. They are awesome baby.
Sandy: It just makes me so angry, you know?
Me: No manners. It's horrible. Remember when you were pregnant with Burl and that woman chased you down on the street to sell you diet pills?
Sandy: Arrgghh. I can never go back there.
Me: You should go back sometime and ask her if she's pregnant.
Sandy: I couldn't do that.
Me: She'd get the point.
Sandy: Yeah but she'd old.
Me: We all look alike you know. Maybe she confusing you with someone else.
Sandy: Maybe. But if you don't know you should just keep your mouth shut.
Me: Tell me about it! I know how you feel. People keep asking me if I've had a vasectomy!
Sandy: (laughs)
Me: I mean, how much more virile do I need to look?
Between 2 and 3 am the next morning Ivo started puking. Sandy followed suit an hour later. Had to be food poisoning. Burl and I were unaffected. Whoever chopped up the fruit maybe didn't wash their hands, I don't know. I wonder how many people got sick from that place that day. Had to be more. The vomiting went on for a solid 24 hours. It was like ancient fucking Rome. Neither of them felt like themselves til Sunday night.
So,
RESTAURANT ADVISORY: CARREFOUR PONDEROSA. AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a funnier note, while running errands we stopped at Finga's for yogurt, garlic butter etc. whatever. I waited in the car with the boys. Sandy ran in. She had this conversation with one tactless staffer.
Finga's Clerk: Oh! Hi! You're pregnant again! (big smile)
Sandy: No. No, I'm not. (smoldering begins)
FC: Oh, but I think you are! (giggling now)
Sandy: (clipped fake laugh) Hunh. No, I'm not. Pretty sure!
FC: Oh! I thought you were! (grinning)
Sandy: Bye! (suppressing rage)
Now let me just say that Sandy in no way shape or form looks pregnant. She looks amazing and has done a fantastic job losing the the pregnancy weight.
She gets back to the car and immediately recounts the above dialogue to me.
Sandy: Do I look pregnant?
Me: No, baby. You look hot.
Sandy: Then why is this person asking me if I'm pregnant?
Me: Maybe because she knows you have little kids.
Sandy: Maybe because of my awesome boobs.
Me: Maybe. They are awesome baby.
Sandy: It just makes me so angry, you know?
Me: No manners. It's horrible. Remember when you were pregnant with Burl and that woman chased you down on the street to sell you diet pills?
Sandy: Arrgghh. I can never go back there.
Me: You should go back sometime and ask her if she's pregnant.
Sandy: I couldn't do that.
Me: She'd get the point.
Sandy: Yeah but she'd old.
Me: We all look alike you know. Maybe she confusing you with someone else.
Sandy: Maybe. But if you don't know you should just keep your mouth shut.
Me: Tell me about it! I know how you feel. People keep asking me if I've had a vasectomy!
Sandy: (laughs)
Me: I mean, how much more virile do I need to look?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)