Monday, April 16

"this guy thinks he's running a baseball team." - my darling sandstress

i have been sucked into the vortex of fantasy baseball! these last 2 weeks (has it only been 2 weeks?) i haven't been able to be on line and not find myself perusing the free agent pages, looking for that one pick up who's going to save my ass, that one arm that's gonna be the next dominant starter, delivering strikeouts by the wheelbarrow load with an era so crystal clear it sparkles, and a whip, a whip lower than kevlar's pants on a special ktv night. do i play this guy who's been struggling? (joe hole in his bat crede) striking out 3 times a day for a week or do i stick with him because tomorrow, tomorrow he's gonna break out of his slump and have a monster day, and christ i'd hate to miss out on that!
it's consuming me. it's so addictive! all sports have stats but no sport has stats like baseball stats. you can scroll through them endlessly looking for that edge, that holy grail, the lightining rod that will make you look like a genius manager. i haven't read stats like this since i collected baseball cards as a kid, so much so that i've been neglecting the blogs, not only writing for them but even reading them.
in an effort to seek help, i went to fubar yesterday to talk to the barman, who also happens to be in big ell's league, along with bread and pimp, concerning time management and fantasy baseball... d-wayne told me that he has 8, count 'em, 8 teams in different leagues and that i'd get used to it. every newbie spends hours staring at numbers and after awhile it won't be such an addiction... for the sake of this blog in particular, i hope he's right 'cause for the time i've been putting into it, while wonderfully intriguing, my rewards have been miniscule... just ask d-wayne, whose squad spanked my guys last week 11-3 with a tie. this week seems better and i may actually pull out a draw against my opponent... i need pitching help and i need some of my hitters to come around are i'm gonna dump their asses! that means you, joe crede! you too frank thomas you 9 million dollar oh-fer mofo!

more later.

oh yeah, kevlar has been really vain about his hair lately. more on that later too.

6 comments:

Bread said...

has kevlar been trying to emphasize his private area again?

Bread said...

ps. thanks for taking pierre for i got to him.

Rye said...

yeah well i'm hoping pierre is gonna come around... and konerko and thomas and crede... god, joe fuckin crede!

Rye said...

i lost again this week. 8-5-2. league rank last, odor fresh.

Big Ell said...

Fantasy Sports is like crack. Anyway I have some pitching and no I am not interested in Crede.

Rye said...

except for mark buehrle...