R: What?
K: I was sitting on the bench, you know one of those park benches, having a smoke when this guy comes and sits down next to me.
R: Unh-huh...
K: Well then he leaned back and put his arm around me.
R: heh-heh... go on...
K: Well I thought that was strange enough but then he put his hand on my knee and started to move it up my thigh!
R: So what did you do?
K: I stood up and said, "Bu yong la! Wo bu yao LA!
R: What did he say?
K: He just kept on smiling and said "Bu yong she me?" and motioned for me to sit back down.
R: Did you?
K: NO! I walked away got on my bike and came straight to the office. He asked, "Ni yao hui jia ma?". I said yes I was going home. What the fuck?
R: Shit dude. Maybe he was inviting you back to his place...A man can't sit in the park and have a smoke these days, eh?
K: Exactly! And this isn't the first time this has happened near here...
R: Right, right, our readers probably aren't aware of the first incident...
Why don't you fill them in?
K: Right, okay, a few months ago I was on my way to work and I stopped at the Family Mart to get some smokes. When I came out there was this guy standing there...
R: Same guy from the park?
K: No, different guy. This guy had a little poodle with him and asked me if I lived around there...
R: The Si Ping Rd. area?
K: Yeah... anyway he asks me what I'm doing and I say I'm on my way to work and he asks me if I want to go swimming with him back at his place...
R: And did you?
K: No!
R: Okay, okay, I'm only asking for the record Kev...
K: I see, I see... Well since then I've seen that guy around and he's always looking at me... in that way, you know?
R: Christ on a rickshaw Kev! You must have been wearing your SPACE PANTS!
K: Yeah maybe but what the fuck!
R: Some guy hit on me once when I was in living in Korea... same deal, hand on the knee, the stroking of the thigh...
K: What happened?
R: I balked and he bailed. Stuck me with the bill, the bastard.
K: Gawd! Korea!
R: So are you going to be avoiding Si Ping from now on?
K: I can't! I work there! I eat there! I smoke there!
R: Can I call you queer bait?
K: Fuck off!
R: You're kinda the exact opposite of Bread.
K: You're a dick!
R: Maybe the guy was laying groundwork. We've learned that groundwork is really important. He's hoping next time you'll be friendlier...
K: There won't be a next time....
R: I don't know, they say groundwork pays off...
K: YEAH, IF YOU'RE A LANDSCAPER!!!!
3 comments:
I forgot about the poodle guy at 750 am. I was referring to the 711 homeless looking guy, who likes to gesture and blow kisses at me.
I'm not sure what's funnier- Kevlar getting targeted for affection by gay men in Taichung, or the phrase "Christ on a rickshaw!".
Either way, my co-workers want to know what I'm laughing at.
kevin, you're getting it all wrong. i'll send you a detailed explanation on the purpose of groundwork at a later date (though i thought this week's email summed it all up).
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