some vids removed

TOO BAD the cool fierce tiger attack video is no longer available for streaming but, hey, that the nature of YOUTUBE. WILDERNESS FILMS INDIA LTD requested it be removed because of copyright infringement...

Also the SNL skit with WILL FERRELL and CHRISTOPHER WALKEN doing BLUE OYSTER CULT'S "DON'T FEAR THE REAPER" wherethe COW BELL features prominently is also gone. NBC is kinda a stickler about their vids being broadcast for free... oh well...

DARK VAPOR is going to be receiving 20 lashes in the high afternoon Taiwanese sun for screwing that one up...

I don't even care about the SNL vid, but that tiger attack was one of the neatest nature videos I've ever seen... So fast and deadly...

tough act to swallow

Kevlar: Well I just had a really great class!

Rye: Oh yeah, went well did it?

Kevlar: Yeah, it went so well that after class a girl came up to me and asked me for Elliot's (her previous teacher) email address!

Rye: Does she know he has morphed into some kind of a golden honeypot catholic surfer dude?

Kevlar: Hunh? No. Yes. No! I mean, I don't know. Not a good sign.

Rye: At least she showed some independent thought. That's not something you see around here every day...

Kevlar: She likes Elliot more!

Rye: He was a very popular teacher. A tough act to follow...but they'll get Kevinized soon enough...

Kevlar: So says you.

Rye: So says I indeed. Listen I've been meaning to ask you about recent events on
Ni Howdy...

Kevlar: Yeah? And?

Rye: DARK VAPOR wants to know why you were so harsh on the J-Hole...

Kevlar: The comment thing? It wasn't funny...

Rye: And you felt it was your duty to point it out?

Kevlar: If I don't, who will? They're all a bunch namby-pambies over there anyway.

Rye: Come now Kev, they've nurtured you, nay us, through the infancy of our blogging lives. JW started Ni Howdy...

Kevlar: I'm not condemning the whole damn blog - like you did that time with your bullshit vertical posting and pinyinized complaints about the administration - just that particular post...

Rye: What was wrong with it?

Kevlar: Like you don't know...

Rye: This is the KEVLAR blog....

Kevlar: OK, so first born children are supposedly not as funny as later born children...

Rye: Yep.

Kevlar: OK that's fine but why are you and I grouped in the same box? You're the oldest sibling in your family and I'm somewhere between 3rd or 4th in mine.

Rye: 3rd or 4th?

Kevlar: The point is the article doesn't jive with the post. See?

Rye: So it's a logic problem?

Kevlar: Yesss! Logic! Logic is the un-problem!

Rye: Un-problem?

Kevlar: Look! I had a thought. I wrote it. It's done. Now piss off, I got class!

Rye: What do you think about Captain Beer?

Kevlar: He's just like DUG, only BIGGER and way GAYER...

Rye: Did you know his name is also a verb?

Kevlar: This interview is over!

TANKS in TAICHUNG

KEVLAR EXCLUSIVE

DV: So Kevlar, it's POWER TOOL WEEK on the blog. Are you stoked?

K: Stoked? Well, um..., I'm not unstoked...

DV: But it's safe to say you're pretty excited about this week's theme?

K: It's like you guys have a window into my soul. I LOVE power tools!!!

DV: What did you think of the video clips that went up earlier in the week?

K: Not bad. I'd seen the car flipper one before. I just wanna say that you guys a FREAKIN sick to put up that video with the kid playin with the vibrator...

DV: We take absolutely no responsibility for any video that may or may not appear on the blog...

K: Well... I did chuckle a little...

DV: That kid's innocent and is totally unaware that he's playin with his mama's fav toy...

K: Right. Next question...

DV: What are your favorite power tools?

K: I like the LATHE. You can do a lot with a LATHE. It's interesting. ELECTRIC PLANERS are also very intersting. They make nice sounds...

DV: Anything else?

K: CIRCULAR SAWS are cool. I'm a fan of the TABLE SAW too. Remember when I built the TABLE SAW in my kitchen? That was maybe before you came along. Rye probably remembers. I think he has some video of it somewhere. It kicked and jumped and almost took my jesus finger off!

DV: How about DRILLS?

K: DRILLS are very important. They help to make holes. Holes need to be DRILLED.

DV: Do you have a DRILL?

K: I have one. You can't borrow it either.

DV: I didn't ask to... why are you suddenly so defensive?

K: I once used my DRILL to help RED A install some curtains at his new house. The DRILL survived but my LADDER never made it out. This was long before the GIRLS came along...

DV: Is it an ELECTRIC LADDER?

K: No. Those are called ELEVATORS...

DV: Back to DRILLS... Sorry about you LADDER...

K: Yeah, I just need some CLOSURE, that's all....I liked the DRILL PRESS when I was a kid... those knobs were fun to turn....

DV: Hose knobs?

K: Those knobs...those knobs! You knob! You know the 3 PRONGED...AH FORGET IT...

DV: What's your least favorite POWER TOOL?

K: THE SANDER. Definitely. I hate SANDERS.

DV: Why? What did SANDERS ever do to you?

K: I don't like SANDERS because it's finishing work... when the SANDING is done that means I've got to LACQUER or POLISH or VARNISH and I hate that stuff!

DV: So it's not that you hate SANDERS so much it's what follows that you don't like...

K: True.

DV: Word is you still have a POKER TABLE available. Is that true?

K: Yes and no. I sold it to DISCO DAVE for a cigarette weeks ago but he's yet to claim it...

DV: So is it available? And is it ELECTRIC?

K: I think I'll give DOUBLE D a week to get it. If he doesn't take it then I'm gonna have to raise the price to a CARTON..

DV: So the TABLE's not ELECTRIC?

K: OH, it's got all the bells and whistles. I built it with my bare hands you know...
but it's not electric you DUMBASS...

DV: Thanks for joining us today KEVLAR...

K: Yeah, sure. I want some money for the use of my name on this blog by the way...

DV: I'll put it before the board...

K: Get back to me on this one 'cause this blog sucks balls...

DV: Please don't project your anxieties on to me...

K: Just find an answer... talk to the suits who conceived this nightmare would you?

DV: As you wish YOUR KAYNESS...

moms have power tools too!

Flip Mode PT

KEV.ED. DeWalt POWER TOOLS

WE both agree that this video is an appropriate way to kick off POWER TOOL WEEK on TWK...

CURRENT EVENT KEVLAR

This blog was originally titled Stuff Kevlar Likes to Talk About so we thought we'd better get busy...

His Kayness came back simply full of news. Current events we mean. He regaled us with tales of waking up at 4 and 5 AM just to read the GLOBE AND MAIL and the VANCOUVER SUN.

"There's some interesting stuff in there..."

Could this be the start of a new more terrifying and well informed political charged K-MAN?

DV says most definitely YES!!!

SNL BOC DFTR - w COW BELL

Don't know how long this'll stay up. SNL clips have a way of being taken down.
Enjoy!

"We Need to Talk About Kevin"

SHYZZA!!! WE BEEN DISCOVERED!!!

QUICK HIDE THE STASH!!!! TALKING WITH KEVLAR is now no longer DARK VAPOR'S dirty little secret! Long time CENTRAL CITY blogger BIG ELL has been here and has linked us up! Holy shit! DARK VAPOR can hardly contain himself! He's FREAKIN' GIDDY already! I've never seen him sooo satisfied with himself! Except for that time when I caught him looking at internet porn!
Yesterday we were just the B-side of NI HOWDY. No longer! TWK is steppin' it up and steppin' out! DARK VAPOR thinks BIG ELL'S hordes of readers are gonna be stoppin' by on a regular basis fo' sho'! I been tryin' to calm him down all morning. I just don't want him to get his hopes UP that's all.

ME: CALM THE FUCK DOWN, DV!

DV: THIS IS HUGE! PEOPLE ARE GONNA READ OUR STUFF! WE'RE EMERGING FROM THE SHADOWS TO TAKE OUR RIGHTFUL PLACE AT THE FOREFRONT OF CENTRAL CITY BLOGS!

ME: DON'T GET YER HOPES UP THAR TOO HIGH DV! BIG ELL'S READERS ARE PRETTY FRICKIN' SOPHISTICATED YOU KNOW...

DV: SILENCE! I'LL NOT HEAR IT!

ME: IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO COME HERE AND SPEND TIME YOU'RE GONNA WANNA BE COMIN' UP WITH SOME BETTER SHIT THAN THOSE SORRY ASS POSTS YOU BEEN PUSHIN'...

DV: NO MATTER! WE HAVE KEVLAR!

ME: DID YOU GET YER K-DAR WORKIN?

DV: I DID AND HE'S NEAR. VERY NEAR, I CAN FEEL HIM, ER... IT.

ME: YOU BEST BE GETTIN SOME MORE MATERIAL FOM HIM THEN!

DV: OH I WILL DONT YOU WORRY YER PRETTY LITTLE HEAD...

ME: FUCK YOU DV! HE'S DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING TO ME ABOUT THE PLANE CRASH, TIGER ATTACK OR CREEPY ROBOT VIDS YOU THOUGHT WOULD P-LEASE HIM SO MUCH. HOW ARE YOU GONNA WITHDRAW THE K-JUICE?

DV: LEAVE THAT TO ME.... LOOK FOR A KEVLAR EXCLUSIVE LATER IN THE WEEK MO FO!

to be continued....

TPB - Playing Space

I miss the Trailer Park Boys!!!!

Reminds us of simpler times when everybody spoke English, not good English, but English nevertheless.

KEVLAR IS BACK! FLEW IN YESTERDAY MORNING AT ABOUT 5:30. bUSSED TO TAICHUNG DROPPED OFF THE FAM AND SPED TO WORK. LOOKED TANNED AND LEAN BUT TIRED AND BLEARY EYED. HAD SOME THINGS TO SAY. HAD A GOOD TIME . KAIA HAD A GOOD TIME. ANNE DID NOT SO MUCH.

DRANK BEER WITH THE TEXAN FROM NI HOWDY. WATCHED SOME BEGGARS HASSLE TRAFFIC AT CORNER OF BO GUAN AND ZHONG MING. AREN'T THERE ENOUGH TEMPLES IN CENTRAL CITY? NO JOHN THEY ARE NOT MORMONS. NO, HIS FIRST NAME IS NOT 'ELDER'. MAN KEVLAR'S EYED ARE RED RIMMED!

FAM TO MIAOLI BC THE PHONE'S NOT WORKING CAUSE KEVLAR DIDNT PAY THE BILL!

WHAT A SLIP! WONDER WHEN THEY'LL BE BACK. MAYBE WE CAN TALK MORE W DA K MAN SOON....

CREEPY ROBOT WALKER

DARK VAPOR reckoned KEVLAR would get a kick outta this robot....