bean dust and the earthquake machine

R: hey kevlar.

K: hey rye.

R: whassup?

K: just finished work, thought i'd stop over. would you like an adult beverage?

R: does the pope shit in the woods?

K: no. bears do.

R: nothing? not a chuckle?

K: i've heard it before. it's not that funny.

R: how's the new job at yu ren?

K: fine. i'm teaching everything. science, gym... didn't even have to demo...and the summer camp is based on D & D, though they're calling it a Harry Potter camp, cause, you know, it's a catholic school.

R: have you ever played D & D?

K: no, well, i knew about it, i mean i was aware it existed, but i never played, no.

R: you should ask karl about it. he'd know.

K: well, i did. i talked to him about it the other night at dwayne's.

R: get any good tips?

K: well, sort of. he broke it down pretty well but it was hard see it.

R: visualize?

K: yeaaah... i think if i played it, got some practice to get know the characters a little better, that would help.

R: maybe karl and aaron would play with you.

K: yeah, like we've all got time for that.

R: i suppose aaron's still pissed at you, huh?

K: uh, ryan, that's your fantasy, not mine.

R: karl mentioned poker.

K: we need at least five. me, you a.j. and karl. and somebody else.

R: how 'bout aaron?

K: maybe, if he's here.

R: pimp's leaving so he's out.

K: too bad about missing the crome relic show.

R: yes, very too bad. scott let us have it, eh?

K: who? the little guy, right!

R: he's the guitarist in crome relic. he shreds.

K: how do you know? you weren't there either.

R: i saw him play before, he's awesome.

K: yeah, well it was your idea to meet elliot and janet.

R: yeah, well that was fun too. in different way of course. oh, well. it's like benching a guy in fantasy baseball and he goes 4 for 4 with 2 homers and 5 RBIs...

K: huh?

R: too bad we missed pimp's last show.

K: yeah.

R: have you ever been in a band?

K: oh yeah, lots of times. my friend in high school used to have one.

R: really? you never told me that before.

K: so? he used to pick me up and we'd go out to the irving to look at the waitresses. eat pie.

R: a BAND kev! not a van!

K: a band. oh. HA! no, i only play solo. better for my career. that way i have creative control.

R: do you have creative control over your science experiments? that sounds like it's right up your alley.

K: they're all planned out. but i think it'll be pretty cool, yeah.

R: just like mythbusters.

K: that show kicks ass!

R: ok kids, today we're going to find out how many balloons it would take to get one of yu little bastards airborne! now you'll all find a box of balloons under your desks. get blowin! ... i'll be outside smoking.

K: heh!

R: on one show they made an earthquake machine based on some 19th century inventor's blueprint. they strapped it to a bridge and rocked it!

K: myth not busted!

R: that same show had them heating cans of beans to see whether they exploded from the top or the bottom.

K: i saw that one. bean dust they were tasting.

R: bean dust.

K: and the earthquake machine...(sigh)

R: you should do KTVs like that.

K: those guys are pretty clever.

R: you could do it.

K: we'll see.

R: this may be our last long conversation for awhile.

K: why's that?

R: we don't work together anymore. less chatting. shortage of material.

K: gee, too bad. is that my underwater camera case?

R: yeah, i asked anne if i could borrow it the other day you were at work and i was in the neighbourhood so i asked her if i could use it as a flowerpot and she said yes get that fuckn thing outta here so i took it, hope you don't mind, you never use it anyway...

K: asshole!

R: do want it back?

K: yes! you put soil in it!

R: i think mythbusters should be the official show of talking with kevlar.

K: agreed.

R: and we need a new name. this name sucks now.

K: easy now. i'll choose it. how about ryan's an ass?

R: either way. i gotta peel myself off this vinyl chair.

K: be nice to hit the pool.

R: or the sea.

K: ocean.

R: lake.

K: lagoon.

R: river? do you know the longest river in taiwan?

K: yes. i just learned it! 'dirty river'!

R: you got it. the longest river in taiwan is the dirty river.

K: pool!