karl should have charged admission for the poker game last night at his house 'cause it was a sold out show. he even gave up his seat for an hour to go surf porn.
i don't get out much so for me it was an enlightening, though not profitable, excursion.
here are some things i learned...
-kevlar never answers his phone. don't even try.
- the location of poker chips can be deceptive. just because you were the last one to host doesn't mean they are necessarily still in your house. in all likelihood, kevlar has them.
- kevlar can find, answer and talk on his cell phone while riding his motorcycle with the help of specially designed helmet.
- a j got back a couple of days ago. he's giving up chewing tobacco.
- cocaine and heroin are acceptable substitutes for weaning oneself off the snuff.
- the legendary michael turton is a pretty friendly guy.
- the poker chips were in a green box in a white carrefour bag in the back room buried deep beneath karl's porn collection.
- there were 9 players.
- 2 were thin.
- 5 smoked. and aaron bummed.
- everyone drank beer.
- no one drank cranberry juice.
- 8 are married.
- 5 have kids.
- english brett was the last to show up.
- john had church.
- karl gave up his seat for english brett.
- that seat got good cards all night.
- karl disappeared into the back room for about an hour.
- michael turton was born in cleveland, oh.
- someone brought vegetarian squid which may or may not have been made from cheese. karl liked it.
- he made tex-mex popcorn.
- english brett buttons his flowered shirts all the way to the top.
- aaron got a new haircut.
- he had till 2 to stay out.
- single guys have no idea what it's like to be married.
- michael turton told a couple of pretty funny jokes.
- everyone talked all the time, all at the same time.
- sam was the loudest.
- karl has a big ass axis & allies board.
- it got big ell, sam and michael turton out of their seats.
- michael turton's board is 50% bigger than karl's.
- they're playing today at 7.
- sam likes to play the u.s.
- michael turton likes germany because it's a challenge.
- malv plays slowly.
- the fantasy football draft is today.
- a j inherited jerry's team.
- big ell got pimp's.
- lance is drafting from america.
- some people aren't too happy about this.
- at least one person at the table has had a vasectomy.
- another wants one.
- they're cheap in taiwan.
- cheaper if you don't get the anesthetic.
- english brett talks funny.
- big ell and his wife are having a new baby in 3 weeks.
- it's a girl! no, wait, it's a boy! no, it's a girl!
- he's moving back to calgary in january.
- fantasy baseball is the real man's fantasy game.
- big ell's yankees are having an unprecedentedly successful season.
- the shiretowners may well make the playoffs.
- aaron had a pretty good neck beard going.
- he wore his n y jets t-shirt.
- michael turton left early.
- sam is still talking.
- he called gay 5 card stud. queens were wild. no straights.
- he once did stand up.
- he really liked michael turton.
- for a while i called aaron noah 'cause he always seemed to have a boat.
- a j was chopped liver to sam.
- sam likes chopped liver.
- sam ate a lot of a j's mints and pringles.
- a j asked sam if he had brought anything to share.
- rye's cards sucked. some of them had nipples.
- big ell went to get beer when he sat out of don's game, which is a notoriously long game.
- don's game was over in 6 minutes.
- kevlar changed his pants in karl's living room.
- a j actually misses the kevlar / rye conversations!
- at one point, aaron looked at karl and said he was so horny.
- somewhere, out there, there's a GILF site.
- i learned what a "glory hole" is.
- aaron knew a lot about them.
- don't take panadol when drinking. it'll kill your liver.
- aaron and brett shared a pint of jim beam.
- sam's dating a mormon girl.
- if they get married, when they die they'll get their own planet to rule.
- it's still "2 and only 2", wagadoodoo style.
- kevlar made fun of my corona.
- karl's house is going to smell like smoke for a long, long time.
- i left before iron cross.
anybody know how that went?
